Pardon my emo-ness..
I am really not feeling good now.

好累
掩饰得好累。
明明不开心，但却还要假装没事。
但我不是一个会演戏的人。

超高的标准、超多的期望，
就快把我给压死了。

姐说，不管做什么、读什么，最重要的是自己喜欢。
太迟了。
我的人生，多的是自由，缺的是选择。
所谓琼楼玉宇，只是表面，只是虚幻。
我开始怀疑自己的能力
不知道自己可以撑到什么时候

当朋友们在家休息、
在电视前看戏、
在电脑前毫无目的地浪费时间的时候，
我常常都是在公司里头，被数目字搞得晕头转向。
这是我的人生。
是对的吗？

完美主义是我的致命伤
是我高估了我自己？
把自己弄得好累。
我的分身术不好，
常常都会失了魂。

My life is only glamorous on the outside.






渴望被爱的我，
在我心四周，却是一堵堵又高又厚的围墙。
它因为不信任而存在、因为人心的险恶而存在。
想爱，却把自己的心锁起来了。

谁可以把它弄不见？
它什么时候会消失？
我不知道。
因为现在要我相信一个人，不容易。
我忘了怎么去信任另一个人。

=SmileX=
最近又变得很爱哭。。。

I have already reached the stage whereby I can ignore whatever negative comments from anyone..
Anyone but my family.

I mean they are the ones who are supposed to be on my side,
Encouraging me on isn't it?

I know I am still new in the line
And everything is definitely NEW to me.
I am feeling insecure already, alright?

Stop giving me the feeling that you are looking down on me.
It totally puts me down.
It really does.
It just puts off whatever sparks or tiny fire I managed to build up over the whole period of time.

I am discouraged and depressed because of your comments and the way you look at me.
Because it just simply shows how much you believe and trust me.

All the more,
I am going to prove myself to you.
You are the last person I'd ever want to look down on me.

Seriously, trust your daughter's abilities will you?

=SmileX=
I am already trying hard. CAN'T YOU SEE??!!

Today was not a long day..
But it sure WAS tiring..

MONOTONOUS~~~~!!!
I almost died from it...

Well I managed to survive thru it..
By keeping myself with ultra weird thoughts..
Hehehehehehe...

Tomorrow is a SHORT day.

Only 2 hours..!
WAHAHAHA...
No need to go office...
But need to go check something at the new office...
It's ok.!
I love my Mummy
I love my Dad
So I will love my job..
HAHA.

Fine.
I am talking rubbish today...

Tada for now..!

I am going to meet my boyfriend in my dream le~~~
BYE.

=SmileX=
It's a crazy dream. And yes it's just a dream.

WOOHOO~~~~~

I love shopping...
WHEEE~~~~!!!

Ok.. The day started wrongly..
I forgot my wallet and ended up taking a cab and reached bugis LAST..
So I had to treat my dearest sisters to LUNCH...
Tsk Tsk...
Who ask them to be my beloved sisters~~~??
*vomit*
HAHA

















This following picture is taken by Lynnette...
The "frame" by Joycelyn...
THEY THINK IT'S PRETTY.
I think it looks like the inside of the intestine...
WAHAHAHAHA~~



After lunch...
We COMBED bugis street..
They both bought clothes and I bought a bag.
Hehe!!
And we took the train down to SOMERSET..
Went to CINELEISURE...
Took a bus down to THE CATHAY
And went for tea-time (on Lynnette) at Plaza Singapura..
The Ice Monster...

Libing joined us there...
Haha..







The desserts there are NICE NICE NICE..!!!

Look how dirty the table is....



ALL JOYCELYN'S FAULT...
HAHAHHAHA...

Joycelyn and Lynnette left..
And Libing and I continued..
Haha..
Bought 2 tops, 2 story books and a handphone accessory...
GOSH.
I am spending like nobody's business...

I need to stop splurging...
Hehehehehe...

2 of things I totally SPLURGED on...
I bought it for my family to share..
I totally don't mind splurging for my family...
Hehe...
I love them de ok...





Hehe..
I have a WHOLE collection of photos of Joycelyn EATING..
HAHAHA
I will post them up soooooonn....

I just realised my blog is soon going to become a FOOD BLOG..
Going by the rate I am posting pictures of FOOD..
HAHA

Dad says he found my blog..
Erm...
So if you are reading this post...
HI~~~~
HAHA...
It's funny de lo~~~

But now..?
I am tired
And I just want to rot in front of my laptop,
Playing spider solitaire...

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不要把昨天的悲伤，变成今天的负担。
因为这样子，只会加重自己的不快乐。

忘记过去，不再沉沦。

=SmileX=
What's the point in holding on?

It's Thursday...
Tomorrow is Friday..
Like DUH~~
Should I be feeling happy.??
Haiz.
Complicated..

Anyway..
Pictures time.!

Lunch @ Cafe Cartel with Lynnette..

Where she started having the crazy idea that she can start "bullying" me..
HAHA..









On the way to Airport...
To send Dad to the Airport..
Mum and I had lunch there too..
I don't really like eating at the Aiport..
*cough cough*





At the Airport..








LUNCH.!
We actually went into the wrong restaurant..
How comical..
Tsk Tsk..



BIANG!!!
500+++ items in the menu..!!
I almost fainted when the waiter was like..
"Take your time. We have 500 over items here"
DIAOZ.

Nice place though...











I love the pictures of the lights..!





This is ONE serving of their drink..
They win liao lo~~



Chee Cheong Fun..



Kaya toast...
IS THICK de lo~~~



The kaya was not the kind that me and Mummy likes to eat..
So it ended up like that...
HAHA..

I proudly showed the picture to Mummy and said
"Looks like a volcano hor~~"

HAHAHAHA



Nice dessert...



On the way back to the office...
The sky was so pretty that day...





Do you see it????



THE FERRIS WHEEL...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE it...
HEhehehehe..
I was so wanting to take the pictures of it...
hehehehehe..
YIPPEEEEEEEE..!!!!







Went to Candy Empire of Wednesday I think...
I love the chocolates...
Though they are FREAKING expensive..
But I never regret buying them...
Hehe..





Pai seh..
I know this post is super long...
Haha..

Tomorrow is Friday...

`````````````````````````````````````````````````

Up till now..
Never once did you leave my mind..
You were always in my thoughts...

If only it's the same for you.
I know it's nothing but just my wishful thinking again.


=SmileX=
Life is full of "If only..."s....

Today's pretty simple..

2 hours of lesson..
And off to work.!

This is my life..
YUP YUP...

Study, work, study, work and PLAY!!!
WAHAHAHA

With my dearest sisters..
hehehe..

Anyway..
Dad went The Philippines today..
So Mummy and I had lunch at the Airport..
I don't really like dining at the Airport..
*cough cough*
hehe..

Will upload the pictures another time..
Pretty late now..
Going to prepare for bed..

Tada..!!

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I never knew that he had so little trust in my abilities..
It's true I'm nothing but a greenhorn.
But I have proven that my theories are mostly right!

This makes me feel weak..
On the inside.
I thought I was strong.
And this brought me down further.

Felt like crying..
Reason unknown.
Yet, the more I feel like crying?
The drier my eyes get..
They ended up being painful..
I think I finished using my tears the other time..
Whatever~

If there is anyone in this world that I will want to prove myself to?
That person is my DAD.
Anyone else?
My Mummy.
That's all.
The others?
Heck.

I love him. And I know he does too.
He is a stubborn old man.
Intelligent, so the others say.
Gentlemanly to the others but not to us.
I wonder why?

I am not bad mouthing him.
I just have no other place to say this.

I want to show him what I can do.
When will he ever start understanding what his younger daughter is thinking?
When will he ever start appreciating what others are doing for him?
Gosh.
I am demoralised.
But I will not fall down because I want to prove myself to be worth the while.

I am an expensive little girl.
I've got to show him,
It's worth the investment..

I am not like those other stupid humans in the office.
I am his daughter.
Carrying his genes.
Slogging my guts out in the office because I want to see it continue.!

I will continue to work hard.
No matter how hard.
I will never let him look down on me.
I will never be part of generation Y.

Dad, stop dreaming.!

=SmileX=
I want to be someone that my parents are proud of...

"I miss you.."
3 short and simple words..
They successfully landed me into my LaLa Land again..
The land of me and my wishful thinkings.
Guessing of the negligible possibility that it's referring to me,
Thinking of the large possibility that it's referring to her.


It's the weekends.
The first weekend in 3 months without a single news from you.
No sms, no msn.



It's so quiet I feel so lost.



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傻傻的我，自作多情的我以为你在想念的人是我。
我知道，这可能性低至百分之零
我只是一味地欺骗着自己。
I know it myself.



没有你消息的周末，
整天呆在家里的周末，
安静得好可怕，



我在房间里，
就像是被世界遗忘的人，
一个人呆着。



你应该很快乐地和她在一起吧？
和自己爱的人在一起，永远都是快乐的。
我祝福你，永远快乐。




From Deviantart
By Zendar..



=SmileX=
我爱的人，他已有了爱人。

Guess what time I lie down on my bed, ready to sleep yesterday?
(Or maybe I should say today..)

I remember the last time I saw the time on my handphone is 3.56am.

I know.
It's crazy.
Especially when I tossed and turned for almost an hour before I really fell asleep.

And I woke up at 11+ today.

That's the problem when I am physically tired and yet mentally super awake.
Haiz.

I think I have Somniphobia (Fear of sleep).

Haha..
I know, it's crazy.

Today is a normal Saturday..
Spending the WHOLE day at home either studying modern literature or playing computer...
Nice to rot for a day when my weeks were packed packed...
HAHA

I am going to continue my rotting..
Bye..!

`````````````````````````````````````````````````

It's Saturday.
The vicious cycle did not continue.
It's going to stop right?
It's the end I suppose.

=SmileX=
My brain is filled up with I don't know what.

Today is the 4th day of school..
Lessons were like 3-6...
(we ended class at 5.15 though)
Hehe..

So.. Lynnette and I went Orchard for some retail therapy in the morning..
And Joycelyn joined us later...

Went Pasta Cafe @ Takashimaya for lunch.
The place was pretty.
The ambience was nice.
But the food was not as expected.
Anyway..

Here goes..

My two "cute" sisters...
HAHA..
(I chose the most presentable one, so don't say I am evil ok?)






















Celebrated Yu Chih, Maggie and Xiao Wei's Birthdays today in class..

Happy Birthday(s) girls..!!
Though it's a little late for Yu Chih and Maggie.
Because their birthday(s) landed in the Holidays.
Haha..




Bought the Owl from Aldo and a watch (the design is on the watch)
for my sister...
She is crazy over Owls..
She believes that they ward off evil...
HAHAHA




Wrote a very emo piece of "essay" during lessons today..
Will post it soon...
When I find the picture..
HAHA..

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我想我已经用完了一年份的眼泪
接下来的一年，希望不要再哭了。
眼睛肿肿的，不舒服。

女人是水做的，哈哈。

He didn't sms me today.
He never will again right?

=SmileX=
Life is more enjoyable with friends you can trust.