Starzz

I HAVE MOVED

2008-07-29T17:44:00.001+08:00

Hey guys

Moved to a new "home"

http://chiahongyee.blogspot.com

pls relink and change your favourites.. HAHA!
See ya there!

I screwed BIG TIME

2008-07-27T00:29:00.002+08:00

Haiz.

I don't know why I would make such a silly mistake..
And GREAT.
My teacher is DAMN pissed with the mistake.
And NOBODY else is to be blamed except ME.

I will not push the blame to anyone else because the fault is mine.
The mistake was my fault...
Haiz..

I don't know what to say.
But I will take what will come.
I will accept all it takes.
Even at the expense of my A.

Today.
I am DAMN DARN BLOODY PISSED.
I can't stand people who have no sense of.....
谦虚-ness.

She's like DARN getting on my nerves.
And yes you can say that I dislike, destest and DON'T LIKE her.
GOSH.
She's making me boil.

=SmileX=
If only everything reverts back after I wake up from my sleep

ALive?

2008-07-23T18:47:00.002+08:00

Haha..

I suddenly had a thought.
On a night that is just like any other.

I want to make my blog alive again!
Haha!

I really haven't been very motivated to blog and keep it alive because...
Ok, Fine. Too Lazy.
Happy?
HAHA!

I have an announcement to make.
I am officially hooked on NEOPETS again!
Wahahahahahaha~~!
Yea...
You might think it's childish...
But I like the process of collecting many many Neopoints,
And starving my neopet and feeding it only when it's starving.
Hehehe...

It's fun la~~!
I can totally understand why I was so hooked to it last time...
during primary school?
Haha..

Who cares?
I like ah!

Drove Sixters (Without Gina) to TP and sent them back after that...
I suddenly felt old...
I can drive already...
And driving my best friends around...
Like... WOa...

Let's hope I will still drive them around when we graduate from Uni,
After we get married,
Even after we have kids...
HAHA!

I am planning for a very very very long article...
When I end my attachment with OurVoiceBox.sg,
I will organise all my things and show you who I've seen,
And all the videos I edited...
HAHA... Loads of them!

Do support www.OurVoiceBox.sg
This week's Hot Artist is Yoga Lin and Jade Liu.

I just heard that my freaking rich friend got a Mini Cooper after she passed driving.
What for? She's going Australia!
Whatever~~

A reminder!
I'm going China on 12th September!!

=Smile=
I'm so blardy tired...

SIGH

2008-07-10T18:28:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I really don't know what Mummy is thinking.
I know it feels selfish of me to think this way...

First, she promised me a car to myself after I passed my driving.

Second, she said she will get a car only after I come back from Japan next year.
Meanwhile, I can use the car in the office.

Third, she said I can only use the car in the office when nobody else is. If anyone needs it, I can't use it.

Fourth, she said it so loudly,"Don't use the car! So troublesome, later people say they don't have car to use then no need to go out."

Haiz.
Now, I am with no car.

I don't know..

I am addicted to driving.
It's just so.... fun and convenient..
And now she says I can't.

=SmileX=
Which one am I suppose to believe and trust?
*I'm just being emo~~*

When's it coming?

2008-07-06T23:18:00.003+08:00

我到底还要等到什么时候才会等到“对的人”咧？
我一直都在听戴爱玲的《对的人》啊。。
一直都在听。

是我的生活圈子太小？
是我太爱耍孤僻？
是我太难相处？
是我要求太多？

有很过分吗？

要求如下：
1）看得顺眼即可
2)不能太幼稚
3）年纪一定要比我大（小一天也不可以）
4）要Man
5）要有一点害羞特质（一点就好）
6）肩膀要宽宽
7）手掌要好看
8）要有内涵
9）可以忍受我的人性
10）可以接受我得忙碌人生
11）等等等等。。。

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！
真的还OK啦！

*我要睡觉去*

=SmileX=
我要谈恋爱啦~~~~

I'm Back!!

2008-07-03T10:58:00.002+08:00

I know.. I know..
I haven't been updating my blog~~~

Ok. First things first.

I PASSED MY DRIVING!!

yup.yup. Hehehehe!

```````````````````````````````````````````````
Life's been ultra suck-y.
Like ultra ULTRA.
Yeah. You got me.

I'm sick and tired of the things I am doing.
I just wish to sit in my own little cosy corner in my own office and do my own things!

Argh. Life's stagnant and stressful.
It's coming to a point that I will just scream at someone.
I will try to control...
Okie Okie..

I am so darn tired~~~

````````````````````````````````````````````````````
很多时候，当我沮丧、失落的时候，
她总是在我身边支持我，
告诉我：“没关系，不要想那么多，就当作是一种训练”
她每次这么说，我都好想哭。

我是吃软不吃硬的，她很清楚。
她真得很了解我、很放纵我、很包容我。
我无法想象自己没有她，会变得如何。

她伤心，我也会难过。
她生气，我也会愤怒。
她开心，我也会愉快。

我想我最不能忍受的，就是她对我不理不睬的时候。
我会很受伤。

谢谢你，妈咪。

=SmileX=
终于明白 "Family First"

Tired.

2008-06-05T11:05:00.004+08:00

Damn it.
Don't ask me what am I 'damn-ing'.
Jus DAMN IT.
ARGH.

I don't know why things are just not going my way now.
I know.
It's so childish to want things only go MY WAY.
But it's not everything I am asking for.
It's just that... haiz...

Had to fly Jana aeroplane again.
I am so sorry!

I am just like so always missing sixters meetings.
ARGH!

有些东西对我来说已经不重要了。
我现在只想快点毕业，
快点专注于老爸老妈的事业，
其他的东西，都不重要了。

是的。都不重要。

我不知道我还可以撑多久，
有好几次，眼泪都快夺眶而出。
我都把它们吞到肚子里头。

哭泣 = 软弱

至少我是这么认为。

但是当我需要哭泣的时候，我只希望有一个肩膀可以让我靠。

真的也只要这样，有这么难吗？

也许，这就是人生的矛盾点。
人生本来就是困难重重。

吃的苦衷苦，方为人上人

是吗？

自从开始了attachment之后，我就一直觉得很愧对Mummy。
一叠一叠的纸在我的办公桌上，一直都没有时间去处理。
Mummy，对不起！

太多事情，太少时间。

=SmileX=
不要管我，我想我只是太累了。

Happy?

2008-06-01T15:07:00.003+08:00

I don't know.
Life is indeed fulfilling and empty at the same time.
I guess that's me--- Self Contradicting ya?

最近发生了很多事情。
却又好像什么都么发生。

有时候，我甚至分不清楚梦和现实。
是我疯了吗？
Maybe.

最近，我又开始发花痴了。
最离谱的是，我并不认识他，我们只是陌生人。
很扯吧？
可是我觉得最起码，这比之前的‘疯狂’正常一点。
Let's hope so.

之前的presentation，对我们整组人的影响很大，我不知道。
最起码我是这么觉得的。
Mrs Choo 真的是我的偶像。
I like her Work Is Work Attitude.

忽然间，我觉得自己真得很需要一个人，让我依靠。
说来简单，还真难找呢。

时间过得很快，
我就快要到中国去了。
一去就是5个月。
回来之后，又要去日本读书。
虽然很期待，但是想要谈恋爱，简直是天方夜谭。

痴心妄想的我，快认清实事吧！

=SmileX=
真庆幸，我人生中有一群很要好的朋友。
还有我最爱的Mummy。

空虚

2008-05-27T11:05:00.005+08:00

从来没有那么快乐过

从来没有这么空虚过

这就是人生。

永远没有办法冠上‘完美’二字。

打着字、吃着Chocolate，这就是快乐。

怎么吃都吃不饱的感觉，这就是空虚。

你尝试过吗？这种感觉。

重新粉刷过的墙壁，空似白墙的窗口。

感情世界从来没有这么空白。

也许是因为终于放下你，

心里空空的。

一直告诉自己，无所谓，有没有都无所谓。

原来，内心深处，有没有，有所谓。

=SmileX=
我会努力让它变得无所谓

I'm still alive. Struggling to be.

2008-05-21T22:17:00.002+08:00

Hi-lo..!

I am still alive. Yes I am!!!!
I am ultra Multi Tasking at the moment.
Just take a look at the namecards I've got.
Gosh. It's hurting my shoulders man!

That bloody 9.30-5pm working hours at school for attachment is making work pile in the office.
My office..
Feel so stressed everytime I see that big stack!
Help!!!!!

The other part of the company that is in my care has just gotten a new project.
And MORE are expected to come.
Gosh.
I certainly hope I can survive!

Dear Lynnette!
Nope I don't have a new girlfriend la~~!
I don't even have time to make NEW FRIENDS!!
(I would prefer a new BOYFRIEND though)
HAHA!
Don't need to be jealous ah!
HOHOHOHOHOHOHO~~~~!!!
I shall see when I can meet you for some retail therapy!

Haiz.
I am ONLY shopping at IMM now.
Why?
'Cos I am working at Jurong East and I go IMM for lunch.
Yup.
That's when I am in my office.
But now I am in my office every Monday to Friday.
That makes me utterly in need of shopping!
Haha!

But life feels very fulfilling though.
But of course it's tiring.
I'm no superwoman ya?

Let's hope all this ends and I can go China happily.
Rest, come back and be ready for the hell of hell.
I am to start work once I graduate man.
I think that's when all the REAL hell starts.
I will be holding 3 namecards as well.
Because I still have 1 not printed yet.
Haha..

Yea!
That's my life.
I wonder when I will meet my boyfriend man....
HAHA.

=SmileX=
I still love my life.

haiyo

2008-05-09T12:33:00.002+08:00

I think things are getting a little out of hands nowadays..

I don't know but I think OurVoiceBox.sg is a little 遍体鳞伤 now.
Endless negative comments and feedbacks.
It's getting me a little down.
I don't know about the others yet.
But I am definitely a little defeated about it.

What else can we do?
What the people see are just the surface.
Do they really think it's that easy?

Forget it.
Nothing will change.

Blah~~~!

=SmileX=
I just hope time really flies.

心情不好

2008-04-24T12:10:00.002+08:00

本小姐现在的心情非常之不好。

应该是因为Mummy心情不好，让我也心情不好

我很想大喊
我很想躲起来
我很想什么都不做

我的心情真的很不好
我应该怎么做？！

我好不开心
我好难过、好难受
但是却也说不出个所以然

我真的很讨厌这种感觉。

我以为我所看到的只是我的错觉，
也许只是我看错了。

可是今天又亲眼看见了。
你抽烟。

反正，
我快疯了！
有什么地方可以让我逃避这一切？
这是我最想做的事。

努力了太久。
我累了。
我也想要休息。

=SmileX=
是该回到现实了。现实本来就是残酷的。

I'm so bloody tired la~~~~

2008-04-20T10:30:00.002+08:00

我正在急速老化当中。

I am an old lady who needs to sleep before 12am..
Need to have 8 hrs of sleep everyday.

Gosh.
And I still feel tired!

I'm ageing rapidly man...

Went to 伍家辉's 记者会 not long ago..
His singing is not bad.. really...
yx.. REALLY LA~~!!!

I just bought his cd...
《虽然我愿意》
Wait for my music review on OVB!!!

Went to Sentosa last Thursday to go film the Orientation Camp.
Saw the beautiful scene and took some pictures..

Some more pictures...
These are taken when my family went to the Museum at midnight..
To see the last day of the Nalanda Trail..

Quite Pretty..
Taken using my handphone..
Haha..

Bye..
I need to prepare to go school for meeting...
Ah~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

=SmileX=
I want to sleep...

The (Hurtful) Truth..

2008-04-15T19:30:00.002+08:00

Hmm....
If you guys have been visiting OurVoiceBox.sg
(I hope you have)
You would see the tags on the tagboards...
Well..
It's... True.
I know.
But the situation will get better!

The content for the next few weeks are really better le~~~!
Believe me!

It's still a little saddening though...

可是没有批评，哪来的进步呢？

加油！OVB！
我们大家都有放心思，希望一切不要白费！

今天才知道，原来他抽烟。
真不喜欢人家抽烟...
So, he's out.
Yes, he is.
Haha.

=SmileX=
我只想睡觉。

work~~

2008-04-04T10:21:00.002+08:00

Hmm..
I am updating my blog SO often.
HAHA

I am starting to believe the fact that I don't have a good working attitude
Because I just can't concentrate and finish everything BLOODY SINGLE thing I am supposed to do.

Haiz.
I don't know how leh~~~~

I am trying to modify the website for OurVoiceBox.sg

But I can't think of a PERFECT way to do it.

Working with HTMLs

Working with Numbers

Working with Invoices

Working with Airway Bills

I am going nuts...

*going nuts*

Haiz.

Find me a point in life?

=SmileX=
Back to work. Back to staring.

Driving..

2008-04-03T12:32:00.002+08:00

Forgive me..
I am seriously liking the feeling of talking rubbish on my blog...
HAHAH

I just came back from another Driving Lesson.

Here are the descriptions of my 3 driving instructors
(I have MORE than just 3. But this 3 are more.... Significant)

The instructor who taught me today..
Hmm. Cute? Very Funny.
Though he thinks he is NOT funny, and is NOT joking.
But everything he says and does is funny to me.
I kept laughing.
I think that pissed him off.
But... He got used to it in the end.
We were complaining about some Ah Peks.
HAHA.

My Second favourite instructor..
Hmm *Cough* SHORT.
HAHA. But he is freaking cute la!
He is a very very very nice person.
But he almost killed me..
By asking me to do Half-clutch for almost half an hour continuously..
But he is a nice instructor.
Very patient and focused?
At least he doesn't fall asleep!
He is quite fun la!

My FAVOURITE instructor.
Finally saw him again today.
He just came back from re-service not long ago..
Very nice to have his lessons.
Because I can talk cock with him and he doesn't mind.
Very hard to find someone who clicks with me la!
*cough* abit short too.
HAHAHA
BUT he is ULTRA fun la!
I LOVE having his lessons.
It's been so long since I had his lessons.
Hmm...

喜欢又怎样？
人家有女朋友地
算了吧。

*绝对不破坏人家的感情！*

废话说完了，该回去工作了。

=SmileX=
Forget it la~!

原来我会的那么少

2008-04-01T13:16:00.002+08:00

Haiz.
Everyone knows I like doing editing.
And I am doing alot of editing for my attachment now.
But just checked out another website..

Then only did I realise how little I know.
How superficial I have learnt.
It's kinda depressing.
Now I know why.
We can't compare?

It just feels like I am bloody lousy.
What I am doing is still SO BASIC.
That makes me damn demoralised la~~~

Whatever it is..
Please do support us ya?
Give me your comments about the website
(Except the Yellow-ish part)
About the pictures, articles and my editings!
Haiz.

Ok.
Enough of slacking.
I shall get back to work

与其一味地称赞别人好
不如努力让自己变得更好！

杀了我，我也不想输！

=SmileX=
我就是好胜！怎么样？！

Hmm..

2008-03-30T22:36:00.002+08:00

I have been leading an ultra fulfilling life.

Toggling among WORK, ATTACHMENT and DRIVING LESSONS.

Let me mention it again.
Do visit

www.ourvoicebox.sg

Hehehe...
Advertising ourselves..
Well.. That's what we need.. LOTS of advertising..

Anyway, we just had our meeting today..
Was planning for the MAJOR event in August.
Really hope it can be successful.....

我生活得很充实
几乎没有空当
虽然很累，但我很快乐。
我不喜欢无所事事，
更不喜欢有太多时间发呆。

有忙碌的生活，最理想。

今天朋友问我：“你现在有男朋友吗？”
我说没有。真的没有。

今天朋友问我：“你有喜欢的人吗？”
我说没有。
喜欢很久的人还是不喜欢我。
所以，真的没有。

我跟他说其实我也很想有一个男朋友。
只是，我的生活要求我在忙碌中度过。
现在交男朋友好像不是时候

有谁可以接受一个不能时常陪自己的女朋友呢？

我也不能接受我不能经常看到我的男朋友。

所以，结论。
不要交男朋友。
哈哈。

我知道。。。
我在胡说八道-ing
我现在其实最想的是

睡觉。

=SmileX=
晚安！

Taiwan Trip PART2!

2008-03-27T23:10:00.004+08:00

Hey!! I am not dead ya.
Here to prove that I am alive and kicking..
Haha..

Anyway...
Before I start on my Taiwan Trip, PLEASE

Visit and support

OurVoiceBox.sg

(www.ourvoicebox.sg)

Pretty PLEASE~~~~!!!!

You know I will thank you thank you thank you so very much~~~!!!

I really put in MUCH MUCH MUCH effort into it.!

Go support ya?

Promise~!

Now..
For part 2 of the pictures~!

这是著名的华纳维秀！

新光三越！
超大的啦！

我只是想证明。。。它超international的！

猜猜这是哪里呢？

Tada~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

我在这里买了10本以上的书！

从白天逛到晚上。。。哈哈

蔡依林的Oops!J

夜晚的101

台北捷运图！

终于看到传说中的小巨蛋！

我们在国父纪念馆看到王宏恩！哈哈
真巧！

最期待的地方！

可是一处捷运就被一位男生一直喊 “同学”！吓死咯！

Shopping Spree Part 1!!!!!

I am getting old~~
Tired.!!
I need to sleep...

I NEED SLEEP.
I NEED SLEEP BADLY.

Tada~~~~!!!

=SmileX=
Go support Ourvoicebox.sg!

Woohoo~~~

2008-03-21T00:03:00.003+08:00

Hehe..

I am lazy to upload about taiwan..
I have TOOOOOOOO many pictures to upload...
Haha..

I am only here to say something while waiting for my hair dye to set in...
Hmmmm...

I am going ZOUK tomorrow!!!!

Hehe..

Yup yup..
I AM.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

I think you have some magic over me.
The smile overwhelms me everything we talk,
Even if it's just over MSN.

We only talk over MSN now anyway.

I thought it was over.
But would I smile at whatever you say if it's over?
Hmmm...

Weird.

But we've lost the "talking about everything" feel.
The distance, is growing.
It's sad, but inevitable.

So, forget it.

You didn't even remember my birthday..
What more can I say?

=SmileX=
What is love, exactly?

ARGH

2008-03-16T23:16:00.003+08:00

Sorry this is not the continuation of my Taiwan Trip..
I SUPER DUPER NEED TO VENT MY ANGER NOW

I am bloody pissed off by some ASSES who should just knock the wall and get lost.

CAN'T THAT HUMAN BEING JUST SHUT UP AND GET LOST?!

SHUT UP AND GET LOST.

YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS
SO STOP ACTING LIKE YOU ARE ONE.

I DON'T CARE WHO ARE YOU.

I ONLY KNOW I DON'T LIKE YOU.

I DISLIKE YOU.

I DETEST YOU.

ARGH!

SHUT UP AND GET LOST.!

=SmileX=
SHUT UP AND GET LOST!

Taiwan trip....

2008-03-14T00:28:00.003+08:00

Haha..!!
Auntie Lynnette has been complaining about me not updating..
So here I am!!

Ok..
It's pretty late..
Day 1 first ya?

Ok.....
Here goes..

香港机场转机。。。。

自拍的大合照哦！

终于到台北喽！

去饭店的路上看到有车祸发生咯。。。

台北火车站，靠近我们的饭店

捷运站。。。

大家真的都排队哦！

前往师大夜市！！

终于吃到啦！！！！！

上海生煎包。
超好吃的啦！

有名的盐酥鸡摊子！

在夜市还买到超暖和的冬衣（没有它我就死定啦！）
才台币300元吧！便宜到爆！（新币15？）

第二天。。。

他们是在上美术课的学生。。。
画都超美的！

就是这件冬衣啦！

在国父纪念馆看得到台北101！

这个婆婆超好笑的啦！
雨伞为什么不要开完呢？

大家都好收次序哦。。。
靠右站。。。
不是我们这里的左边哦！

去搭缆车咯！
猫空缆车！
靠近木栅动物园。。。

MacDonalds' 到处都有！
超大间的啦！

今天就先这样吧。。。
照片还没有load完。。。
但是19岁的我。。累了。。。
哈哈。

=SmileX=
19岁，要快乐哦。。。

祝我生日快乐。

2008-03-14T00:09:00.002+08:00

19岁生日快乐。
本小姐刚刚满19岁了。。。

19岁的生日愿望？
（我是贪心的啦！）

1）To finish all my office work and stay up-to-date with my work!

2) To complete IBP(www.ourvoicebox.sg) attachment smoothly and good!

3) To pass my Driving Test ASAP!!!!

4）Everything to go smooth and well in China

5) To stay happy and smile everyday!

6) May everyone I love and care for be happy, cheerful and lucky in everything they do!

7) A boyfriend?

Hahaha!!!

我都说我很贪心了。
今年给自己的生日礼物特别多！（也特别贵）

去了台湾、买了超多东西。
有新的照相机！

爸爸妈妈买了新笔记型电脑和手机给我。。。
哈哈。

大出血的一年！

=SmileX=
我真的只要求每天开心！

The countless 'BYE's...

2008-02-29T10:21:00.003+08:00

Hmm...
Time for the graduation party's pictures I promised..
Hehe..

I actually didn't want to go for the party..
But well luckily I did.!
It was fun being with our class people just chit chatting and snapping pictures..
Haha..
So here goes.!

THAT'S ALL..!!!!
HAHA...

The teaching track left last night for Zhejiang.
All the best to them.!

Do take care and don't fall ill..!!!

We shall wait for all of you to return..!!!!

TADA~~~~

I am going Taiwan on MONDAY..!!!!!

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

我走的时候，谁会来送机呢？
到时候，会有个什么特别的人吗？

应该不会。。。
我的人生很少惊喜。

有时我宁愿自己一个人走，
不让别人看到我的眼泪。

我走的时候，你会在乎吗？

看到你跟别的女生的照片，我嫉妒。
但我凭什么？
我们什么也不是。

为什么偏偏不可以？

为什么我们不可以？

=SmileX=
那个特别的人几时会出现？

Driving lesson~~~!!!

2008-02-27T21:24:00.002+08:00

I love driving.
I love going for driving lessons.
The "feel" of being the driver is GREAT.
So accomplished~~~~

HAHA.

BUT Today's lesson was SHIT-ty.
The instructor was a whole bucket of shit.
Don't like him.!
He did TOOOOOO many things to put me off.
He is the WORST among the many instructors I had.

I miss my so very nice instructor.
Haiz~~~
Why???
I want back my nice instructor....
So sad....
Haiz~~~

That stupid old uncle had better not bad mouth me in front of my nice instructor!!!
ARGH.!
I seriously don't like him can?!
IRRITATING BUG.

I am going TAIWAN..!!!!!
YES I AM..!!!!

=SmileX=
But I still love driving.! Just not that particular instructor.!

Pictures... Pictures... Pictures...

2008-02-22T22:50:00.003+08:00

Hehe..
Sorry!!! Super long never update lo~~~~

Hehe...
Too busy working, learning driving and leading my life~~~!!

I have many many many pictures to show you..
But I can't promise everything in this post...
Because it will take hours to finish loading...
HAHA.

Random Picture..
HAHA.

Went to a relative's wedding dinner...
At InterContinental Hotel..

Then it's over to CHINESE NEW YEAR..!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHA...!!!

She's OBSSESSED with OWLS.!

He is IN LOVE with NS.
(Although he is only 11...)

Whoo~~~!!!
Off to Penang!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Singapore Airlines Business Class Seats...
HAHAHA.
We are not rich.
We just can't get the economy class. Too Full.

It's a New Year tradition for us to return to Penang on the first day of Chinese New Year..
'Cos my Mum is from Penang..
Hehehe..
I love the food there.!
It's a sleep and eat holiday..................................................

Where all troubles and headaches just can't reach me.

Complicated seat.

At TGIF Restaurant...
(In Penang! DUH~!)

YUMMY-licious desserts.!!!

Paddington House of Pancakes.!
GOSH. I LOVE THE FOOD.
All the food stuffs has pancakes in them.!!

I shall continue the rest next time..
About the Graduation Party today.!

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

It was a ridiculous dream that made no sense.
We were dining at the same place.
You were with your friends.
I was with mine.

I saw you.
You saw me.

You said nothing.
You just smiled.

I wanted to find you again.
You were nowhere around.

You were hiding.
Hiding from me.

I was upset.
Started stoning from that moment.

My best friends were with me.
Telling me it was ok.

Then you appeared again.
At the doorstep of where I was.
Holding my textbook.

WTH.!

But it's true and cruel that you were capable of making me upset.
Both in reality and in dream.

I admit I missed you.
I wanted so much to talk to you.
I didn't though.
I knew it was pointless.

When will 'someone' appear?
To replace that special space you exist in me?

When will I ever be able to look at you in the eyes and smile?
And forget all the feelings I have for you?

I don't deny it was all one sided.
All along.

=SmileX=
Is the dream supposed to mean something? I believe not.

I'm here again...

2008-01-31T00:09:00.000+08:00

HAHA....

I can't find the FEEL to do any of my work.
So I decided to come here again.
Hehehe...

I have DRIVING LESSONS tomorrow.!!!
WAHAHAHA

I LOVE DRIVING.

Can't wait to take the test and pass.!!!

I'm also here to say.................................................

I AM GOING TAIWAN

Why aren't I going tomorrow??!!

OKOK..
Here is the 心理测验
(sorry guys! this is more for gals to do... )

如果你和你的老公要结婚，你会选择在哪一个地点举行婚礼？？

1。第一次见面的厕所（门口！）

2。曾经“出生入死”的急诊室

3。经常逛的菜市场

4。第一次炒饭（就是那一回事。。*咳咳*）的废车场

选好了吗？

这是测试你会嫁给有钱老公的机率哟！

来公布答案吧！！

1。第一次见面的厕所（门口！）--------------------------50%

2。曾经“出生入死”的急诊室---------------------------20%

3。经常逛的菜市场-------------------------------------0%
（我就是这个。。可怜的我）

4。第一次炒饭（就是那一回事。。*咳咳*）的废车场------90%
（恭喜老爷，贺喜夫人！）

HAHA...
This is from 东风’s 《开运万事通》
很好看地哟！

我很喜欢星座啦。

=SmileX=
I am going TAIWAN.

Break's over.!

2008-01-29T23:59:00.000+08:00

Hmm..
I have been "rotting" a LITTLE too much for the past 2 days.
(oops)

I WASTED one day at home on Monday.
I did nothing.
I just rot-ed.
Ok.
I did watch three-quarters of the movie that I need to watch.
*smiles*

Today.......
We had lessons from 9-11am.
Went shopping with Princess Lynnette.
HAHA.
She ah....
Really not all people can shop with her.
HAHA.

But I'm quite immuned to it already.
Can exercise at the same time.
But today was SUPER DUPER ULTRA DAMN BLOODY hot can??!!!!

That was enough break...
It's time to crank up my engine tomorrow.!
Am going to office to WORK..!!!!!!!!
(I know I mentioned I became a workaholic)
But hey!
I am still a HUMAN for goodness sake.

WILL TIRED ONE RIGHT???!!!!

Ok la. Enough of complaining.

I think I've lost touch with "proper blogging" for too long.

I don't know how to blog now.
HAHA.
Don't give up on my blog.!!!

I remembered I copied down a 心理测验 recently.
Shall post it up soon....
Hehe...
Yes, soon.

````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

什么是爱？
对你的那种，算吗？

心情有些浮躁，
因为你不时出现在我的脑海。

严重影响我的人生。

我的人生是让你这样随意摆布的吗？！

=SmileX=
I am going TAIWAN..!!!!!!!

Hmm...

2008-01-25T23:35:00.000+08:00

I have the sudden "want" to blog feel..
Woots.
HAHA
It's random.

Just came home from my Cousin's 21st Birthday party.
It was just us and them and a few of her close friends.
Small, Simple but Fun.

She's gonna be attached.
(so she says)
The guy looks like a nice person I would say.
Happy for her.!

The two of them looks so comfortable with having each other around..
How nice...

```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Where's that someone to love me?
Where's that someone to support me when I'm down?
Where's that someone to care for me when I'm upset?
Where's that someone to share my happiness?
Where's that someone to hold my hand?
Where's that someone to be there for me?
Where's that someone for me to care for?
Where's that someone for me to think of?
Where's that someone for me to rely on?
Where's that someone for me to lie on his shoulders?
Where's that someone for me to......

I saw the clock showing 11.11 when I got on the car.
Wonder who was thinking of me?!
HAHA.

Show yourself will ya?

我什么时候才不会再是一个人？

偶尔还是会寂寞。

=SmileX=
I want a boyfriend.

PICTURES..!!

2008-01-23T14:51:00.000+08:00

I finally have the FEEL to post pictures.
HAHA
Sorry~~~ Been crazily busy..!!

Ok. Many pictures, little words.
(Some are really long ago....)

My baby nephew.

SUPER CUTE!!!

The Square.

KL trip with my family.

KL trip with my friends.!

Shopping Spree??!!

So loving~~!! HAHAHAHAHAHA

Ok. I've got to get back to work....
*yawns*

=SmileX=
I'm going TAIWAN...!!! WAHAHAHAHAHA

我。。。不是我

2008-01-19T00:19:00.000+08:00

我在家

可是，it doesn't feels like it.

我跟姐吵架，为了一些无聊的事
搞得我魂不守舍

我承认
我任性
我刁蛮
我孤僻
我难搞

我也不想

我变了

我。。。不是我了

我是谁？

我每天把24小时努力填满，为的是过得累一些
不要胡思乱想

我不再单纯
我不再幼稚
我不再胆小

我。。。不是我了

我最爱的人忽然出现，又忽然不见
我快疯了

我想要有个男朋友
可是谁会要一个没有时间陪自己的女朋友？

我努力把握的时间填满，把每一天过得更充实
24小时真的不够用
真的。

偷偷告诉你，
我失去了我的写作能力

我。。。不是我了。

=SmileX=
我还是不完美的。

2008..

2008-01-09T21:42:00.000+08:00

My New Year Resolution...
I know it's kinda late...
HAHA.

1) To change my short-tempered-ness
2) To be a good student
3) To be a good worker in the office
4) To learn my Japanese language, WELL
5) To plan my future
6) To love my family more
7) To get my driving license before JUNE
8) To be HAPPY

I am a SUPER greedy person..
*OOPS*
HAHA.
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
I got nagged.
I lost my temper.
I am not angry.
I am disappointed.
With myself.
For not doing a good job.
I don't like giving up.
It's never my style.

我知道这样说很不负责任，也无济于事
但是，我的一天可以不要只是24小时吗？
真的不够用。

努力不能白费。
不想要放弃。
要证明我做得到。
要让大家知道我很能干。
受得了压力。
不轻言放弃。
要快乐。

我不喜欢掉眼泪。
那是懦弱的表现。

我不喜欢发脾气。
那时不负责任的行为。

我不喜欢半途而废。
这不是我的style。

我不会退出。
我一定会成功。

=SmileX=
我要做个好女儿。

Happy 2008.!

2008-01-02T21:55:00.000+08:00

It's a new year...
What a nice sentence..
A new start for a new life...
Hmm...

Happy New Year to ALL..!!
May this be a fruitful and happy year for everyone..!!

```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
You are no longer with me.
After going thru thick and thin, happiness and sadness..
You were always there for me..
I loved you.
Now you are gone.
I have no idea where you went to.
I can't find you anymore..
I'm upset.
But I won't cry.

Goodbye.
I hope the next person treats you well..

Goodbye my PHONE.!!!

What a nice way to start a new year eh?!

算了，就当作是破财消灾

=SmileX=
I hope this is a good year.

Merry Christmas~~!!!

2007-12-25T00:02:00.000+08:00

Hey~~~
I am BACK!
WAHAHAHA...

First...
MERRY CHRISTMAS..!!!!

May everyone out there have an enjoyable day..!!
With all the fabulous gifts and pretty presents..
Haha..

Although I don't have many this year...

Guess what!
My Christmas day is going to be spent in the OFFICE.!
I spent my Hari Raya holiday and my Christmas Eve there too.!
HAHA.
I think I am turning into a WORKAHOLIC.

Hmm~~~

Anyway, I just popped by to say a "MERRY CHRISTMAS".
Now I'm quite lost about what else to say..
hahahha...

Everyone live your life well ya?!
Till then~~!!

OH YA!!
I forgot my Christmas wish...
Here's it...

I WANT A BOYFRIEND.

HAHAHA.

Although I don't have time for him now.
But it's always nice to have one.

(Can you believe I greedily thought I didn't have to spend Christmas alone this year?!)

But it's proven that it's all but my wishful thinking..
So well~~

Here's my wish.
I hope it comes true.
And comes true real soon...

Byee~~~~
*off to bed*

=SmileX=
I enjoy a packed and fulfilling live.!

Busy~~~

2007-12-09T00:20:00.000+08:00

Ok. I know neglecting my blog isn't good.
But you can't blame me?!
It's school then to work EVERYDAY.
Reaching home at 11+ almost 12 am everyday isn't fun..
But I don't mind it.

Because I'm helping my most lovable parents.
And I am happy I can.
I am satisfied with the fact that I am chaffeured home everynight.
It's enough to keep me going..

I love me Mummy and Dad.

Went with Sixters and Pei Xuan to Orchard to see the Christmas decors..
Gosh. It was crazy..
We were like some tourists. (like mountain tortoise.)
HAHA.

You won't believe it.
I have been working so hard, been so tired,
I've neglected talking to my family members.
I just realised yesterday at 12 midnight that darling is flying off today.
At 1555 to Penang.
Gosh.
I felt so bad I didn't know about it.
But I think it's good.
A little distance makes us realise how much we care..

I know I will miss him.
He and his crazy acts.......

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

只想说，我三生有幸认识你们。

```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

It's still you in my mind when I am alone.
It's surprising how deep a mark you left on my heart.
Though it was not a long period of time.
I no longer like you but I still think of you.

I guess it's because there're too little choices.
Haha.
That's my life.

Once again,
我总是一个人，从以前到现在，
我一个人走着，好似我注定要一个人走下去似的。

=SmileX=
I decide how I want to lead my life.

What a week~~~

2007-12-03T23:53:00.000+08:00

I am super duper ultra tired.....
I can even sleep while standing now..
People who knows me should know..
IT'S NOT ME!!!!!

Reason being, I am turning into a super-woman..
It's to school then to work.!
HAHA.
Everyday working till 11pm.
It's quite crazy.
It's going to go on till end of the year...
Hmmmmmm...

But it's ok la~~
I've got my DEAREST friends to accompany me and brighten up my "nights".
HAHAHAHAHA..

Life's been crazy.
I'm turning crazy.
My life's crazily packed.
I crazily love the way it is.
I am crazily saying... "I LOVE WORKING".!

I find satisfaction when I hear the customer saying he is happy.
I find accomplishment when I hit my targets.
I find happiness when I see smiles on Mummy's and Dad's faces.
I find laughters when I am working there.
I find... everything I want and I like.

Once again..

I love working.!
I finally find the fun of working.
Though it's bloodily tiring...

I need to go rest and find time to do my homework.!
I aim for a better GPA this semester.!!

Tada~~~

BTW.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOYCEYLN OH.
(I will post an entry about her soon~~~~)

Till then.

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Came across this on LiXie's blog..

Self love is not self centredness or selfishness,
but taking good care of my soul.
No one can do that for me, except myself.

I agree.

我总是一个人，
一个人走着，
好似我注定要一个人走似的。

值得反思。
（但现在没力气，我只想睡觉）

=SmileX=
I love working.. More than I love schooling.

我不是公主

2007-11-28T10:08:00.000+08:00

OK. My days have been incredibly LONG~~~
Basically, it's school-office(SDB)-office(DPA)..
It's crazy.
I'm out of the house in the morning and back only after 11pm..
CRAZY!!!
HAHA.
But ok la. I'm enjoying it.

I know I have lots of things to upload. But no time no feel no pictures.
Haha..

So go on waiting...

Lastly, I just want to say.
我不是落魄公主。
因为我不是公主。
Haha..

=SmileX=
I just want some sleep.... hehe.

Moving office is not nice...

2007-11-24T22:50:00.000+08:00

Ok..
I know I have not updated..
In fact, I haven't even been ONLINE for a few days.
I am so tired.!
We have been movfing office for the past few days..
Yet to complete Modern Literature readings.
Wonder when am I going to finish?!
I have a presentation on THURSDAY.!
Gosh.!

I know it's time for some pictures, but pardon me.
Haven't had time to upload photos from my camera..
Will update about the new office soon.!
Moving to a new office is not nice...
Because it's tiring..
But it's FUN.
Haha..
Because you have a chance to rearrange your things..
Hehe..

The youngest guy in our office is now sitting next to me..
But I am SUPER far from my Mum...
*sigh*
SO FAR~~~~~~

Let's just settle for some random pictures first...

The bananas in class...

Me and my brother...
HAHA..
The pictures says it all..!

I SUPER ULTRA PISSED with the teacher can?!
Super biased.
WTH.!
To think that I put in SOOOOO many good words for the teacher before?!
GOSH.
I MUST HAVE BEEN BLIND.
I AM SO DAMN ULTRA PISSED OFF.
(use Lynnette's phrase)
BLOODY SHIT.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

It's saturday.
看不见你的时候，
还是会想你在哪里、会想你是否会想我？

It's probably because you are the only option.

=SmileX=
I just want to get my work DONE.

Too many things~~~

2007-11-21T15:45:00.000+08:00

Sleep is never enough right?
Ever since the tiring weekend, I just can't seem to get ENOUGH sleep..
Tsk tsk~~
This is bad...

Was supposed to meet Yi Xian, Xiao Xian and Pei Shan at Orchard..
But due to the FACT that I have too many things on hand,
I decided to give it a miss..
So sad la...
So long never see them le.!
But we will be meeting quite often...
Haha..

Lesson today is BLOODY BORING CAN?!
Gosh..
But I still love the teacher la~!

Some irritants ought to just shut up and stay aside.
Freaking irritating can?!
Just because you WANT something, doesn't mean everyone have to GIVE it to you.!
Get your facts right man.!
We were given the right to choose.!

Aiya..
Shit-y irritants..

I need to start studying again.....
Haiz...
When am I going to finish reading the bloodily long story?!
140 pages of A4 paper.!

````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

POP means you have a chance to let your "loved" ones to see you...
Your favourite right? Showing off..
Haha..
Afterwhich, you will have 10 days off..
You should be super happy right?
You are forever looking forward to weekends to book out...
Good for you lo..
You will be online very often I guess?
Perhaps not, you will be to pre-occupied by "her".
Fine.

才发现，有没有你都一样。
我一样会开心、会伤心。
我一样会生病、会不舒服。
我一样会忙碌、会偶尔寂寞。

只是少了一个让我觉得自己很重要的人。
（但也有可能是我想太多，误解了你）

相信你没有我，也一样。
生活不会有什么不同。

也或许你早已忘记我的存在。

我们之间还剩下什么？

每个周末看你有没有 online，只有这样。

From Deviantart by Zendar.
=SmileX=
Bloody lots of things to do~~~!

What a weekend~~~!

2007-11-19T01:07:00.000+08:00

Just a quick one on my "fruitful" weekend.
I spent two thirds of it SLEEPING.
I woke up at 3.47pm today.!
The first impression when I saw the time on my phone?
"Aiyo, my phone clock spoil already..!"
HAHAHAHAHA

So that's how I spent my weekend..
I read some Modern Literature...
But I did no other HOMEWORK.
ARGH.!

Ok.
I will so them TOMORROW.!
I WILL.
Hmm...

Off to bed~~

=SmileX=
Sleep....... ZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ........

How Exciting~~~

2007-11-18T00:08:00.000+08:00

Now let me tell you more about my totally "EXCITING" Friday.

As I was saying in my previous post, Friday is yet another "working day".
So, I went to the office at 10++ because Mummy and Dad came home only at 4am in the morning!
Why?
Because there is a new project that is supposed to be finished by MONDAY.
Super rush.!

Ok, so I went to the office..
Did some document scanning and filing and such..
I was NOT feeling OK at all.!
Because something was wrong somewhere in my body.
But I couldn't say WHAT.
That's what totally spoilt my mood.
I just totally couldn't smile, let alone talk.

It felt like 胃涨风 you know?
Super bloated, so much so that you would want to VOMIT.
And yes..
I did. 3times.! So scary.!
But I was thinking I would be able to go home around midnight or something.
After we complete the project...
BUT.!

The worst part?
I left office only at 7.30am on SATURDAY MORNING.
The sun was already out.! Shining so brightly~~!
GOSH.

I was practically swallowing all the medicine I know will help throughout the night(morning)..
But I still didn't feel well.
But I think it's mostly because of the lack of sleep.

I slept from 8am to 5.30pm..
So, I wasted one WHOLE saturday SLEEPING.
How nice~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But at least I feel much better now..

Ok. I need to go study and do my homework.!!

Tada~~

=SmileX=
I hate getting sick now. It's makes me feel helpless. And I don't like that.

No school tomorrow!

2007-11-15T23:42:00.000+08:00

I just realised I haven't updated for a few days...
*Oops*
Ok..
A quick one..
Erm..

Tuesday
Lessons were till 11.
Went to the office..(as usual)
And went to watch 《侠女》 at the National Museum..
It was supposed to start at 7.30 (well.. it did.) BUT
WHO KNEW IT WAS GOING TO LAST FOR 3 HOURS??!!!!
Plus another hour of "talk cock session"
We all left at 11.30pm.!
Luckily Mummy and Dad came to pick me..

Fortunately, lesson tomorrow is cancelled.!
WAHAHAHAHA...

Wednesday?
Erm..
Lessons ended at 11+.
Went to the library and lunch-ed with Joycelyn at IMM.
Bought stationeries for the office, and off to the office!
WHO KNEW I WAS GOING TO BE THERE TILL 10.30!!!
*sigh*
Mummy and I managed to catch a cab only at 11pm..
Reached home super late.
By the time I finish printing the modern literature things?
I was way TOO tired to read them.!
Sorry Nan Lao Shi..!!
I will read them this weekend..!!

Today was just lessons..
Reached home at 6.
Switched on the tv and then I realised,
It's been a LONG time since I had time to sit in front of the tv and do nothing but channel-surfing..
*sigh*

Nevermind..
Pictures of the National Museum.!

Those pretty clouds I saw on Tuesday..

Tomorrow's work again..
*sigh*
I know. It's not surprising. I knew it was coming.
Although the small tiny weeny bit of me was trying to be funny..
Trying to think of the various excuses to have a day to myself.

But the timing is just wrong I guess?
The office is in a chaotic mess now.
Mummy said "please". Gosh. What more can I say.?

Nevermind.
Can go print literature notes at the same time..

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Sometimes I really feel like flaring up.
Maybe because I am bottling up too much anger recently.
Sometimes I just feel like screaming.
Maybe because I have been too nice and have been taken for granted.

Well, I am a human too.
A human with serious mood swings.
I get tired, I get upset, I get agitated, I get impatient too.!

I just don't know how to express them.
And I don't want people to think that I do nothing other than just purely complaining and whining about how tiring my life is.
I don't want to be taken as such a person.
Because I am not.!

Sometimes I just feel that I don't fit in anywhere.

因为别人不吝啬于付出与包容，并不代表接受你的任性和一切。
不管做什么都要有个底限，不要太过分。

做人不要太贪心，不可以只要别人对自己单方面的付出。

少一点怨言，多一点包容。

少一点气愤，多一点快乐。

Don't take things for granted.

=SmileX=

Sometimes I just feel sick and tired of everything. But I'll get over it.

Monday = BORING.

2007-11-12T23:15:00.000+08:00

Haiz..
Today is super duper ultra cannot make it de BORING can?!
I was TOTALLY dozing off in class....
ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...
HAHA...
But in order not to ruin my perfect record of NOT sleeping during lessons,
I STAYED AWAKE..
ARGH.

Yesterday was OH YEE LU's piano performance...

It was good la~!
I seriously want to upload the video.
But photobucket is a little crazy..
Shall do it tomorrow.

Did a test I saw somewhere...
It's about...My love life?!
Haha..

Here's what it says...
"You're easy going about who you're with, as long as they love you back."
Haha. True.!
I don't have high standards..
Not like someone~~~
*cough cough*

"Getting over a break-up doesn't take long. Easy come, easy go."
Nah~
Totally untrue..
I am still trying-in-progress.
If I'm not wrong, the previous one took 1 and a half yr?
HAHA.
Aiya~ Whatever.!

I've always been a HOROSCOPE fan..
If you have the November issue of Seventeen,
Flip to the horoscop page. Look at Pisces.
Tsk tsk~~

"When the moon is new on Nov 9, you'll have
a crush on a guy with a bad-boy rep."
WTH~~~~ -_-

"The feelings will be mutual"
Show it to me man.! Which part?!

"After a few emails, you'll discover that his imange doesn't
reflect his true personality. He's actually a total sweetie!"
FIRST, WHO THE HELL STILL COMMUNICATES THRU EMAILS??!!!
Next... Where is the GUY???!!!

HAHAHA.
Ok fine.
I am just bloody tired and totally out of my mind.
I bought a new organiser..
Hehehe..
Within my budget.
And I love it.! (NOW.)
Wahaha..

Going to National Museum to watch Movie tomorrow with Ray..
Gosh~~
It had better be NICE.

=SmileX=
I am just super duper ultra cannot make it de TIRED.

BORED.

2007-11-11T01:14:00.000+08:00

Today is a BORING day.
What did I do?
NOTHING.
That's it.
It rounds up the whole day..

The only good thing happened was that I had the BEST sleep I had in AGES..
Hehehe..
It was still interrupted..
But it was much better.!
I woke up at 12.45pm...
Hehehehehehe...

Was supposed to do homework today...
Well, at least I planned to!
But of course..
*cough cough*
Hehe...
I will give it a try again tomorrow.!

Going for a haircut tomorrow..
It had better turn out ok..
Days are getting bloody hot.!
ARGH.!

Am still not feeling very well..
Going to sleep soon.!

````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
When was the last time we talked?
It really was the last right?

I guess your life is better?
Without me.

Fine.
If you are reading this,
All the best.
I think your "hell week" should be coming soon..
Take care.

=SmileX=
I am bored.

It's Friday!

2007-11-10T01:19:00.000+08:00

It's Friday again..
It's the don't know no. what post with this title already...
Hehehehe..
Forgive me for my lack of creativity..
But I always have the same thoughts when it's FRIDAY...
Haha..

Hmm..
Lesson today was just Asian Cinema from 2-6pm..
I don't know if I should be happy or upset about this module..
It's not exciting, neither is it super uninteresting...
So ya..

Watched a Chinese movie today..
Not bad...
Many people cried (at least teared)..
Well, I didn't.
Let me repeat this again, it's not because I am unfeeling.
I just don't see a need to.
I prefer to cry when I am alone.

Went to join Joycelyn and her friends at the BBQ pit later at night..
They were a fun bunch of people..
Haha..

Ok. After a few posts of emo-ing..
Let's have some time for some pictures.!

My auntie bought us Donut Factory!!!

She loves buying food for us...
Must be because we are too lovable..
Hehehehe..

The day was so much more beautiful with them...

I bought Candy Empire again!!
I know I am like buying them quite frequently..
But everything I buy them,
It's either I give away more than half of what I bought?
Or the rest is eaten by I don't know who...
They just disappear...
Haha..

Lesson time..
It was thursday I think...
Nan Lao Shi's Modern Literature...

Lynnette was playing around with my camera...
She claims that hers is running out of battery...
Haha..

Candid shot of Cheng Yao...
Haha..

Nan Lao Shi..!!!
Hehe..
He is a super nice teacher la~~~

Hui Yin was supposed to take photo for the bananas and she ended doing this....
HAHA...
It's normal actually...
Haha..

Lynnette ah!
Stop taking pictures during lessons ah!
Haha...

As usual..
My "night road" shots...

I'm tired.
I think I am falling sick soon...
Going to eat medicine and go to bed soon..
If not, I will get endless naggings tomorrow again..

=SmileX=
I know I should just throw you out.

Why?

2007-11-08T23:44:00.000+08:00

It's contradicting.
I know I had gotten over you.
Yet am still yearning to know about you.
Wanting to see you.
Hoping that you will think about me occasionally.
Thinking that you want to talk to me too,
Just that you dare not.

Well, it's just my wishful thinking.
I know.

Letting go is not hard.
It's the forgetting.
It's not affecting me that much.
But I still can't stop thinking about you.
Guess it's a habit?

``````````````````````````````````````````````````

因为家庭的生意，
我被逼着成长。
比别人早看见人的真面目、人的惰性、人的自私和社会的残酷。

失去的很多，得到的也不少。
有时很不甘愿、有时会抱怨。
严重时，可能还会讨厌。

其实，最近发现，这件事其实并没有那么糟。
能够尽自己的力帮忙，是值得开心的事。
家庭是最幸福的负担。

=SmileX=
也许是我对人的要求太高了。

sigh

2007-11-06T22:17:00.000+08:00

Something's not right with the air recently.
It's making me lose control of my emotions.
And I am not liking it.

It just feels wrong.
Don't feel like doing anything.
Don't feel like saying anything.
Just want to be left alone.
To the extend of really being alone.
It's a scary feeling.
You can't control it.
You drop all the way down.
You come back up, slowly, on your own.

To find the best hideout is difficult.
A place where I am kept busy, be it mentally or physically.
Endless things to do, too much to think about other things.
Although running away will only bring more problems
It's the only thing I can and know how to do now..

[Learn it, Live it, Love it. When can I do it?]

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

李玖哲《想太多》。

I can just live on this song the whole day.

Were things simple?
Did I simplify them too much?

Thinking too much?
Too much for me to handle?
This time, it's not just about my love life.
There are too many other things included.
Too many things I just don't understand.
Tried too hard to figure them out.
In vain, of course.
Disappointed with myself and the world.
It's mutating too much.
Turning into something feeling-less.
Something I can't understand, feel and fit in.

如果我的顾虑是多余的，那就好。
只可惜，世界确实在变化中。
世界在变，人也在变。
变得畸形，可怕的是，没有人知道。
也不会有人去正视这个问题。

Why can't I understand what others are thinking?

=SmileX=
Don't make an ASS out of U and ME.

[The Game Plan]

2007-11-04T01:03:00.000+08:00

Went to watch The Game Plan at Plaza Singapura with my family..
Watched the 9.10pm one..
Which ended at 11.20pm..

This is something I can't do with my friends...

I have a STRICT curfew of 11pm..
Haha..
It's a nice movie..
Touching..
About family ties rather than the normal BGR sort of movies...

My favourite phrase from the movie...
"Learn it, Live it, Love it."

Not many people realise, how often we use the words "I", "ME", "MYSELF"
And when things happen,
The first question that pops into their mind is "SO WHAT ABOUT ME?"
*sigh*

Guess that's the world right now.
But sometimes, we really have to look further, far beyond just ourselves.

The father was ready to give up his career and everything,
Just to have his daughter back.
And to lead his life, together with his daughter.

It's a really big decision.

So what's the thing or person you would give up your everything for?

This is a question worth pondering.
Isn't it?

Some people might not have an answer to it..
Because they can't imagine living a life without themselves being under the limelight.

I once told Mummy
Nobody in this world is capable of living alone.
No matter how strong and capable you think you are,
It's undeniable, nobody can walk their whole life alone.

Sometimes it's not about how much the people around you can do for you.
Rather, it's about them being there for you.

Give it a thought.

=SmileX=
The truth is, life is just not about yourself.

It's Friday!

2007-11-02T23:51:00.000+08:00

As you can see...
New blogskin!!
Hehe..!
Prettty eh?
I changed the picture on top though..
It was from another blogskin..

It's Friday!
The day for Asian Cinema!
4 hours of lesson..
It's either you LOVE it?
or you will just have an extra 4 hours of nap..
HAHA

Watched 《东京物语》 during lessons today..
It's was touching..
VERY touching..
The characters inside were very real, almost similar to those around me..
I didn't cry though.
Not that I was heartless or feeling-less..
I just didn't want myself to cry..
So I swallowed the tears back in..
(Another reason was because I had mascara on.. HAHAHAHA)

Time for some pictures...
Some random ones I found while going thru my pictures folder.
All pictures are pictures of the sky...
I like taking pictures of the sky...
I don't know why..

Looks like a heart shape?

More pictures!
From deviantart.com...

By saiaii

By porcelainveins

By Y

By alicedepalma

By Dementee

That's all!

I have a weekend that is free...
Hmm.....

Study?
Shall see..
HAHA..

````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Sometimes, I just need my life to be simple.
Like SIMPLE...

S-ometimes
I-t
M-akes
P-eople
L-ives
E-asier

Get it?

````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

I feel a need to say Sorry to someone.
Someone who used to be very important to me.
Someone I liked for the longest period of time.

After a LONG while of not contacting,
I said "hello" on msn.
And started talking with that someone.
Hmm...

Was I just reminiscing the past?
I guess I was just trying to use you..
To occupy myself..
To get over some things..
To make myself feel needed..

I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it.

=SmileX=
Is there a formula to simplify "LIFE"?

I am fine le...

2007-11-02T00:21:00.000+08:00

I just want to say..
I am feeling ok already..!

Not so emo already..
I've gotten over the issue(s)..

Hmm...

I think I am someone who is difficult to understand..
Haha..
My future boyfriend will have a HARD time...
(Provided I have one... hmm.. 10 years later?!)
HAHA...

Once again....
It's FRIDAY AGAIN...

Then SATURDAY
Then SUNDAY

Then it's Monday..*sigh*

Will things return to how they were?
For this weekend?
We shall see.......

`````````````````````````````````````````````

Just realised recently that "love" is a big word.
It's a word full of endless committments, promises, and responsibilities...
But it's a common word for many to use.

But I am someone who dare not use it.
Because even I am unsure about the consequences of it...
Unsure if I am ready to bear them...

Till now.
I've only said it to one person.

And that person?
Is my Mummy.
I love my Mummy.
No matter what.

It's a comforting fact to know that a listening ear will always be there for you,
To stand by you and give you the most timely support.

I guess this shows how careful I am with this word.

Let's wait for the day,
That the guywho makes me have to courage to use this word
Appears in my life
And makes a difference to it.
Till then.....

总有雨过天晴的时候。

=SmileX=
If only life could be simpler... I would love it even more.

心

2007-10-31T17:36:00.001+08:00

Pardon my emo-ness..
I am really not feeling good now.

好累
掩饰得好累。
明明不开心，但却还要假装没事。
但我不是一个会演戏的人。

超高的标准、超多的期望，
就快把我给压死了。

姐说，不管做什么、读什么，最重要的是自己喜欢。
太迟了。
我的人生，多的是自由，缺的是选择。
所谓琼楼玉宇，只是表面，只是虚幻。
我开始怀疑自己的能力
不知道自己可以撑到什么时候

当朋友们在家休息、
在电视前看戏、
在电脑前毫无目的地浪费时间的时候，
我常常都是在公司里头，被数目字搞得晕头转向。
这是我的人生。
是对的吗？

完美主义是我的致命伤
是我高估了我自己？
把自己弄得好累。
我的分身术不好，
常常都会失了魂。

My life is only glamorous on the outside.

渴望被爱的我，
在我心四周，却是一堵堵又高又厚的围墙。
它因为不信任而存在、因为人心的险恶而存在。
想爱，却把自己的心锁起来了。

谁可以把它弄不见？
它什么时候会消失？
我不知道。
因为现在要我相信一个人，不容易。
我忘了怎么去信任另一个人。

=SmileX=
最近又变得很爱哭。。。

Why??

2007-10-30T22:31:00.000+08:00

I have already reached the stage whereby I can ignore whatever negative comments from anyone..
Anyone but my family.

I mean they are the ones who are supposed to be on my side,
Encouraging me on isn't it?

I know I am still new in the line
And everything is definitely NEW to me.
I am feeling insecure already, alright?

Stop giving me the feeling that you are looking down on me.
It totally puts me down.
It really does.
It just puts off whatever sparks or tiny fire I managed to build up over the whole period of time.

I am discouraged and depressed because of your comments and the way you look at me.
Because it just simply shows how much you believe and trust me.

All the more,
I am going to prove myself to you.
You are the last person I'd ever want to look down on me.

Seriously, trust your daughter's abilities will you?

=SmileX=
I am already trying hard. CAN'T YOU SEE??!!

TIRED.

2007-10-30T00:20:00.001+08:00

Today was not a long day..
But it sure WAS tiring..

MONOTONOUS~~~~!!!
I almost died from it...

Well I managed to survive thru it..
By keeping myself with ultra weird thoughts..
Hehehehehehe...

Tomorrow is a SHORT day.

Only 2 hours..!
WAHAHAHA...
No need to go office...
But need to go check something at the new office...
It's ok.!
I love my Mummy
I love my Dad
So I will love my job..
HAHA.

Fine.
I am talking rubbish today...

Tada for now..!

I am going to meet my boyfriend in my dream le~~~
BYE.

=SmileX=
It's a crazy dream. And yes it's just a dream.

Tired..!!

2007-10-27T22:49:00.000+08:00

WOOHOO~~~~~

I love shopping...
WHEEE~~~~!!!

Ok.. The day started wrongly..
I forgot my wallet and ended up taking a cab and reached bugis LAST..
So I had to treat my dearest sisters to LUNCH...
Tsk Tsk...
Who ask them to be my beloved sisters~~~??
*vomit*
HAHA

This following picture is taken by Lynnette...
The "frame" by Joycelyn...
THEY THINK IT'S PRETTY.
I think it looks like the inside of the intestine...
WAHAHAHAHA~~

After lunch...
We COMBED bugis street..
They both bought clothes and I bought a bag.
Hehe!!
And we took the train down to SOMERSET..
Went to CINELEISURE...
Took a bus down to THE CATHAY
And went for tea-time (on Lynnette) at Plaza Singapura..
The Ice Monster...

Libing joined us there...
Haha..

The desserts there are NICE NICE NICE..!!!

Look how dirty the table is....

ALL JOYCELYN'S FAULT...
HAHAHHAHA...

Joycelyn and Lynnette left..
And Libing and I continued..
Haha..
Bought 2 tops, 2 story books and a handphone accessory...
GOSH.
I am spending like nobody's business...

I need to stop splurging...
Hehehehehe...

2 of things I totally SPLURGED on...
I bought it for my family to share..
I totally don't mind splurging for my family...
Hehe...
I love them de ok...

Hehe..
I have a WHOLE collection of photos of Joycelyn EATING..
HAHAHA
I will post them up soooooonn....

I just realised my blog is soon going to become a FOOD BLOG..
Going by the rate I am posting pictures of FOOD..
HAHA

Dad says he found my blog..
Erm...
So if you are reading this post...
HI~~~~
HAHA...
It's funny de lo~~~

But now..?
I am tired
And I just want to rot in front of my laptop,
Playing spider solitaire...

``````````````````````````````````````````````````

不要把昨天的悲伤，变成今天的负担。
因为这样子，只会加重自己的不快乐。

忘记过去，不再沉沦。

=SmileX=
What's the point in holding on?

It's Thursday..

2007-10-25T21:14:00.000+08:00

It's Thursday...
Tomorrow is Friday..
Like DUH~~
Should I be feeling happy.??
Haiz.
Complicated..

Anyway..
Pictures time.!

Lunch @ Cafe Cartel with Lynnette..

Where she started having the crazy idea that she can start "bullying" me..
HAHA..

On the way to Airport...
To send Dad to the Airport..
Mum and I had lunch there too..
I don't really like eating at the Aiport..
*cough cough*

At the Airport..

LUNCH.!
We actually went into the wrong restaurant..
How comical..
Tsk Tsk..

BIANG!!!
500+++ items in the menu..!!
I almost fainted when the waiter was like..
"Take your time. We have 500 over items here"
DIAOZ.

Nice place though...

I love the pictures of the lights..!

This is ONE serving of their drink..
They win liao lo~~

Chee Cheong Fun..

Kaya toast...
IS THICK de lo~~~

The kaya was not the kind that me and Mummy likes to eat..
So it ended up like that...
HAHA..

I proudly showed the picture to Mummy and said
"Looks like a volcano hor~~"

HAHAHAHA

Nice dessert...

On the way back to the office...
The sky was so pretty that day...

Do you see it????

THE FERRIS WHEEL...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE it...
HEhehehehe..
I was so wanting to take the pictures of it...
hehehehehe..
YIPPEEEEEEEE..!!!!

Went to Candy Empire of Wednesday I think...
I love the chocolates...
Though they are FREAKING expensive..
But I never regret buying them...
Hehe..

Pai seh..
I know this post is super long...
Haha..

Tomorrow is Friday...

`````````````````````````````````````````````````

Up till now..
Never once did you leave my mind..
You were always in my thoughts...

If only it's the same for you.
I know it's nothing but just my wishful thinking again.

=SmileX=
Life is full of "If only..."s....

Monday "Blues"

2007-10-24T00:31:00.000+08:00

Today's pretty simple..

2 hours of lesson..
And off to work.!

This is my life..
YUP YUP...

Study, work, study, work and PLAY!!!
WAHAHAHA

With my dearest sisters..
hehehe..

Anyway..
Dad went The Philippines today..
So Mummy and I had lunch at the Airport..
I don't really like dining at the Airport..
*cough cough*
hehe..

Will upload the pictures another time..
Pretty late now..
Going to prepare for bed..

Tada..!!

````````````````````````````````````````````````

I never knew that he had so little trust in my abilities..
It's true I'm nothing but a greenhorn.
But I have proven that my theories are mostly right!

This makes me feel weak..
On the inside.
I thought I was strong.
And this brought me down further.

Felt like crying..
Reason unknown.
Yet, the more I feel like crying?
The drier my eyes get..
They ended up being painful..
I think I finished using my tears the other time..
Whatever~

If there is anyone in this world that I will want to prove myself to?
That person is my DAD.
Anyone else?
My Mummy.
That's all.
The others?
Heck.

I love him. And I know he does too.
He is a stubborn old man.
Intelligent, so the others say.
Gentlemanly to the others but not to us.
I wonder why?

I am not bad mouthing him.
I just have no other place to say this.

I want to show him what I can do.
When will he ever start understanding what his younger daughter is thinking?
When will he ever start appreciating what others are doing for him?
Gosh.
I am demoralised.
But I will not fall down because I want to prove myself to be worth the while.

I am an expensive little girl.
I've got to show him,
It's worth the investment..

I am not like those other stupid humans in the office.
I am his daughter.
Carrying his genes.
Slogging my guts out in the office because I want to see it continue.!

I will continue to work hard.
No matter how hard.
I will never let him look down on me.
I will never be part of generation Y.

Dad, stop dreaming.!

=SmileX=
I want to be someone that my parents are proud of...

i miss you..?

2007-10-21T23:24:00.000+08:00

"I miss you.."
3 short and simple words..
They successfully landed me into my LaLa Land again..
The land of me and my wishful thinkings.
Guessing of the negligible possibility that it's referring to me,
Thinking of the large possibility that it's referring to her.

It's the weekends.
The first weekend in 3 months without a single news from you.
No sms, no msn.

It's so quiet I feel so lost.

````````````````````````````````````````````````````

傻傻的我，自作多情的我以为你在想念的人是我。
我知道，这可能性低至百分之零
我只是一味地欺骗着自己。
I know it myself.

没有你消息的周末，
整天呆在家里的周末，
安静得好可怕，

我在房间里，
就像是被世界遗忘的人，
一个人呆着。

你应该很快乐地和她在一起吧？
和自己爱的人在一起，永远都是快乐的。
我祝福你，永远快乐。

From Deviantart
By Zendar..

=SmileX=
我爱的人，他已有了爱人。

Somniphobia

2007-10-20T23:15:00.000+08:00

Guess what time I lie down on my bed, ready to sleep yesterday?
(Or maybe I should say today..)

I remember the last time I saw the time on my handphone is 3.56am.

I know.
It's crazy.
Especially when I tossed and turned for almost an hour before I really fell asleep.

And I woke up at 11+ today.

That's the problem when I am physically tired and yet mentally super awake.
Haiz.

I think I have Somniphobia (Fear of sleep).

Haha..
I know, it's crazy.

Today is a normal Saturday..
Spending the WHOLE day at home either studying modern literature or playing computer...
Nice to rot for a day when my weeks were packed packed...
HAHA

I am going to continue my rotting..
Bye..!

`````````````````````````````````````````````````

It's Saturday.
The vicious cycle did not continue.
It's going to stop right?
It's the end I suppose.

=SmileX=
My brain is filled up with I don't know what.

4th day of school...

2007-10-19T00:25:00.000+08:00

Today is the 4th day of school..
Lessons were like 3-6...
(we ended class at 5.15 though)
Hehe..

So.. Lynnette and I went Orchard for some retail therapy in the morning..
And Joycelyn joined us later...

Went Pasta Cafe @ Takashimaya for lunch.
The place was pretty.
The ambience was nice.
But the food was not as expected.
Anyway..

Here goes..

My two "cute" sisters...
HAHA..
(I chose the most presentable one, so don't say I am evil ok?)

Celebrated Yu Chih, Maggie and Xiao Wei's Birthdays today in class..

Happy Birthday(s) girls..!!
Though it's a little late for Yu Chih and Maggie.
Because their birthday(s) landed in the Holidays.
Haha..

Bought the Owl from Aldo and a watch (the design is on the watch)
for my sister...
She is crazy over Owls..
She believes that they ward off evil...
HAHAHA

Wrote a very emo piece of "essay" during lessons today..
Will post it soon...
When I find the picture..
HAHA..

````````````````````````````````````````````````

我想我已经用完了一年份的眼泪
接下来的一年，希望不要再哭了。
眼睛肿肿的，不舒服。

女人是水做的，哈哈。

He didn't sms me today.
He never will again right?

=SmileX=
Life is more enjoyable with friends you can trust.

Swollen eyes.

2007-10-17T23:36:00.000+08:00

3rd day of school.
Nice time with Lee Tong King.
Lao shi!!!
Your hair really nicer nicer nicer now..!!!

Although you keeping "shooting" me..
But I know you won't give me zero de la~~~
HAHA...
So I will continue talking in class..
WAHAHAHA

Was emo. So went Kbox.
My eyes were so dry I couldn't cry...
So crazy la...
Thanks girls,
For being there and trying to make me smile..
=)

Going retail therapy tomorrow.
Yes I am broke and still heading for retail therapy...
I need it..
BADLY.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````

Had a long long long long long talk with Mummy.
She is just as upset as I am.
Maybe even double or triple.
I really think she is the greatest woman on Earth.
She really is.
I love her loads.
She was right, from the beginning.
I was just blinded by him, refusing to accept the fact.

It hurts.
Like alot alot alot alot.
With swollen eyes now, I can think of nothing but the things you said.
It's crazy.
I think I must have been blind and dumb to have fell for you.
Yeah.. I was out of my mind.

I need time.
Alot of time to put things down.
But no matter how long it takes.
I will have to do it.
I need to continue leading my life.
I want back myself.

My life still needs to continue.

=SmileX=
Life goes on....

2nd day.

2007-10-16T22:46:00.000+08:00

Today is the 2nd day of school.
2 hours of Nan Zhi Guo and his Modern Literature.
Went to the office.
I felt like I was going to die.
Something was not right with me.
But I couldn't say exactly what was wrong.

I went to see a doctor anyway.
My favourite doctor.
Only he can cure me.
Haha.

I am a sickly girl.
Recently.
I don't know why..

It was Mummy's birthday last Friday.
Here are the pictures.

Call me a "mountain tortoise" if you want.
It was the first time I went Marche for a meal.

Pardon me for the blur and ugly pictures.
My camera wasn't cooperating that day..

I liked the atmosphere of the place...
Haha..

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````

In the end,

I still find myself, alone.

总是这样，
我喜欢过的人，都会喜欢另一个人。
但那人都不是我。

我喜欢过的人，最后都会有女朋友。
但从来就没有我的份。

我的快乐是用爱情换来的？

是该梦醒的时候了，
我又输给了命运。

不管怎样，还是祝福他们。
要珍惜对方。

要幸福，就一定要努力去经营。

It's painful.
But I will learn to let go.
It's difficult.
But I don't have a choice.
It's the end.
Let's not waste anymore time.
It's undeniable.
I will accept it.

=SmileX=
心碎了。梦醒了。不想了。

School REOPEN!!!

2007-10-15T22:38:00.000+08:00

YIPPEEEE!!!!
Today's the first day of school..!!!
Like FINALLY...
Hehehe...

Weekend was crazily fun..
Haha..
All the craziness..

Today went for Japanese Lessons in the morning.
I seriously feel like giving up taking the exams..
I am SO DAMN STUPIDLY stressed...
HAIZ.

But cannot waste money...
Haha..
What a motivation right??

Anyway..
It's the first day of school and it was RAINING...
Anyone who knows me knows that I don't like rain..
I just don't like it.
NO WHY.

Makes me feel so emo...
HAHA...
BUT NO WAY!!
It's the first day of school..
But I am bloody tired now..

2 hours of Nan Zhi Guo and his Modern Literature tomorrow..
And off to the battlefield in the OFFICE..!!
HAHA...

*Off to watch tv and sleep*
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

```````````````````````````````````````

Confusing guy..
Stop confusing me..!!
Haiz.
If only I knew what you were thinking.
Tell me will you?

Ask you a question on Saturday and you totally forgot about it on Sunday.
How nice of you.

=SmileX=
I don't like rainy days...... =(

Someone...

2007-10-11T16:43:00.000+08:00

My emotions have been triggered by a simple statement.
I feel like as if I am not even living myself.
I am not trying to be difficult or anything.
I just want someone who understands what I am feeling now.

我的心情不是愤怒
而是伤感、是委屈。
也许是因为自己好久都没有伤心，
所以现在，一切的报应都来了。
我一直相信，有多开心，就会有多伤心。

我不是要别人觉得我很可怜之类的，
这对我来说，没有意义。
我只是想找一个可以明白我的想法的人。

People...
Please do not be stingy on praises.
It's all it takes to make someone's day.
A lousy comment is able to spoil it all.
If that person deserves it, just give a nice "thank you" or a simple "good job" is enough to make someone feel good.

记得:
没有人可以永远做一个快乐的独立个体
我们是人，是需要关心和关怀的人。
每个人需要的成分不一样，但是没有人可以没有它。
不要吝啬于一句夸奖。
如果简单的一句话，可以带给别人快乐，
何乐而不为？

人是有感情的，
是需要彼此的，
所以我们才会在同一个时间，存在于同一个空间，
这个空间有多少“人情味”，并不是外在因素的改变而造成的。
更不要把罪怪在“科技的发达”上。
这都是人体内的荷尔蒙作祟。
是人与人之间的围墙越来越高、越来越坚硬。
让人以为自己是可以独立生存的，
让人忽略了培养彼此之间的感情，
让人不记得别人为自己做过些什么。

所以，
我们忘了对别人说“谢谢”
我们忘了对别人说“对不起”
我们忘了对别人说“辛苦你了”
我们忘了对别人说“你做得很好”
我们忘了对别人说“没有你就惨了”
我们忘了对别人说“你是不可或缺的”

同时，
我们忘了对自己说“够了”
我们忘了对自己说“休息吧”
我们忘了对自己说“不要固执”
我们忘了对自己说“不要太过分”
我们忘了对自己说“记得别人的好”
我们忘了对自己说“我们都需要彼此”

人类啊！在失去理智和人性之前，
快醒醒吧！

``````````````````````````````````````````````````

I finally found something good about you.
Something that I don't always get from anyone else.
Thank you for always replying, be it online or via sms.
忽然好想你。

=SmileX=
I feel...

Bad Day.

2007-10-08T23:54:00.000+08:00

Today is a BAD day.

It's a totally screwed day.

I feel lousy.

Today is ruined.

=SmileX=
Never had I felt so lousy and helpless.

Day out...

2007-10-07T00:59:00.000+08:00

Remember I was just mentioning yesterday that I need retail therapy??
Yup Yup.! I went..!

With my insane sister and crazy brother.!
*Oops*
HAHA...

Take you through the whole shopping with us..
Hehe...
We left home only at 6 for your info.!

We went CD Rama..
Where I spent a bomb.

We went Kinokuniya..
Where I spent yet another bomb.

We went OG..
Where I didn't buy anything.
(Because I couldn't find anything I wanted)

We went The Cathay..
Where I bought NOTHING.
HAHA..
My sister bought a pair of slippers though..

While waiting for my parents to finish with the wedding dinner.. W
e wasted time at Starbucks..
Where I saw a crazily freaking woman who totally freaked me out..

Here goes:
[woman] What time is it now?
[me] 9.08.
[woman] Ok. (pauses) Are you waiting for your cheesecake to melt?
(There were 2 slices of cheesecake on the table)

[me] (smiles but totally "WTH-ing" in my mind)
[woman] Eat la! It's going to melt.
[me] (smiles) ok.
(Takes a small bite)
[woman] Waiting for someone?
[me] Ya. My sister.
[woman] She is buying drinks?
[me] Ya.
(shifts her sit further away)
[woman] Might be abit difficult to sit ah?
[me] Ya. Thanks.
(pauses)
[woman] (looks at my brother and me) Have you watched Ratatouille?
[me] Haha. No.
[woman] You should watch it. It's really nice.
(starts flipping thru newspapers, looking at the movies section)
[woman] Hmm. Today's Ratatouille here is finished. Hmm.. Plaza?
(stops talking because she realise I am not listening)

WTH! Like so freaky can?!
I was totally SCREAMING for my sister inside myself!
GOSH! Totally freaky!

Anyway..
Here are the many many pictures I took.
Of course it's only a small part of it..

Hehe..
The freaking EXPENSIVE COACH bag my sister bought from USA.

Limited edition so she says.
I was just trying to show that it blends with the wall..

HAHA
Nice lights..

*pointless*

Remember to be courteous!

There was nothing wrong with the coffee..
She was just thinking "I have a crazy sister"

She looks cute..

HAHA.. OK. FINE.
She is irritated.

*changes target*

Hehehe...
He started 配合-ing with me..

He started complaining
"EH! WHY IS MY FACE ALWAYS BLUR?!"
But he can't hold the cup still.!

He finally managed to do it.

Of course.!
What you do not see in the picture is ME holding HIS hand STILL.!
HAHA..

She was still too preoccuppied with the DS...

He started going crazy...

OK. He is tired..

Took the MRT to find Dad and Mum at Newton..

Mummy looks so pretty today.!

Nice to spend quality time with family...

Going JE library tomorrow to study!
It's 1.18am and I am still AWAKE
hehehehe..

````````````````````````````````````````````````

The night Orchard feels so lonely to me,
Although there are many many people waking..

Even the TABLE is reminding ME of YOU.
Repeating what you said to me today...

Should I be rejoicing?

Whatever.

I don't know what is running through that weird brain of yours.
It's either programmed wrongly,
Or the software is too new for me to understand.
Sorry but I am not that IT-savvy.

If you have anything to say to me,
Say it straight.
If not, just leave.

Stop reminding me of your presence.

=SmileX=
I know it takes time to forget that you ever appeared.

I need a thorough break from this..

2007-10-05T21:01:00.000+08:00

I am really tired from all the work and studying..
When will these end?
Of course I know it's just my wishful thinking that they will end..
Haha..

Pictures' Time.!

I love Towers..!
Haha...

The moon was super round and bright..
On 农历八月十六日...

Looks like an advertisement eh?
Haha..

Got "feel" de wor~~

"waiting for her to pick up the phone.."

Found these pictures from another website...
Lots of very nice pictures...

http://www.deviantart.com/

By yenyen0615

By bloodmistress11

By Forgotten_Myth

By UnUmBreLLa

By Akano

Very nice right??
Hehe...

I need retail therapy badly..
`````````````````````````````````````````````````

I feel like I am some crazy human beings with endless emotion swings.
It's worst than being on a swing on a windy day..
The danger of falling down from it is too much to handle.
I need to get down from the swing safely.

Keeping myself busy and tired makes it easier for me to sleep at night.
Finally starting to get some decent sleep.

When will things finally turn for the better?

I have many things to do, it's crazily insane.
Multiple tasking and multiple identities.
That explains my split personality-ness.

=SmileX=
It's nice to know that I still remember how to cry.

讨厌我自己

2007-10-04T19:28:00.000+08:00

失去灵魂的人，要怎么继续活下去？
我以为我学会了接收变化，我错了。
我依旧是顽固不灵的。
讨厌人家扰乱我的生活，更讨厌人家破坏我的决定。

转眼间，两个月就要结束了。
可是没有休息到的感觉。
只觉得自己疯了，一会儿大笑，一会儿放声大哭。
精神分裂？

我快累昏了，可是我不能就这样放手。
我承诺过，我会尽我的全力帮忙。
我一定一定要撑下去，再辛苦都要。
直到我崩溃的那一刻。

我以为我可以慢慢接受一切，
结果发现，原来我一直都在累积心中的不满。

好想放声大喊，我急切地需要一个发泄的管道。
不然，我就要变成一个连我自己都受不了的人了。
我会开始讨厌我自己。

=SmileX=
忙到没有时间想“他”的事。

ARGH!!!

2007-10-03T22:22:00.000+08:00

ARGH!!!
ARGH!!!!
ARGH!!!!!
ARGH!!!!!!
ARGH!!!!!!!
ARGH!!!!!!!!
ARGH!!!!!!!!!

OMG. I FEEL DAMN PEK CEK!
I FEEL LIKE SCREAMING!
THIS INSTANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGH!!!

I FEEL DAMN TIRED
I FEEL DAMN IRRITATED
I FEEL DAMN PISSED OFF
I FEEL DAMN FREAKING ARGH!!!!!

Pardon me. I am SERIOUSLY in a terrible mood.

=SmileX=
Reducing EQ.. DAMN.

hmm..

2007-09-30T19:17:00.001+08:00

I thought things were going to be ok.
Yeah. That was what I thought.

But today, emptiness filled up everywhere.
My mind was full yet empty.
Full of questions, empty of thoughts.
Laughed hard. Laughed lots.
But was it true?

I guess I haven't gotten over it totally.

只要是和你有关的，不论是事物、歌曲、情节，
都会让我鸡皮疙瘩掉满地。
第一次那么害怕鸡皮疙瘩。
让我觉得好孤独、好无助。
就像突然失去了很重要的东西，
少了我的精神支柱，全身无力。

我会把我们短短的回忆好好地收起来。
那些因为你而快乐、因为你而伤心、因为你而担心。
短期内不会去碰它，因为我怕会痛。
不想看见你也不想收到你的消息，
反正我们的生活圈子没有交叉点。

我需要时间。
希望有一天，在路上碰到，我可以微笑着对你说"Hi"

=SmileX=
I need time to get over this. Till then..

It's the end.

2007-09-29T23:59:00.000+08:00

寂静的夜，我勇敢地说了
换回了你真诚的回答
一个我一直不愿意面对的现实，始终到来了
美丽的梦，残酷地被你踩碎了。
心理感觉有点空虚，但这是个过渡期，我会恢复的。

心里缺的那一块，我找得回吗？

从你那里听到了答案，
虽然不是我想要的，
可是，最起码我不需要再自我催眠。

再见了，我要回到我的世界，那个没有你的世界。

我应该很难再有勇气爱上别人了。

单恋永远是痛苦的。How true.
感情泛滥，自作多情永远是我的弱点。

After all the struggling and convincing I told myself to hold on tight,
And not to let go till you tell me to，
You still made me let go.
How ironic.
Today is the day eh?
That everything comes to an end?
Yah, I guess so.

All my courage has been drained.
What I need now is a strong and reliable shoulder for me to cry on.
Maybe I won't cry. I don't know.
A shoulder may not be right, I think a wall will do the job just as well.

Emptiness is filling up my little bubble.
Like a child who got lost in a shopping centre.
Lost for directions.
To move on blindly is the only solution.
Although I know it will hurt.

2 months and 8 days,
Been there, high up on the top, came back down, there deep under.
All sorts of injuries suffered.
I starting to wonder what made me hold on.

What I wanted was an answer.
Since I got it, what I want now is a clear END.

It's the end.
Unless a miracle happens but I know miracles don't happen to me.

This is the last thing I will say to you.

Take Care.

I'm back. Alone.

=SmileX=
我还没有尝试到爱情的甜蜜，就先被爱情伤得遍体鳞伤。

slacking??

2007-09-27T11:43:00.000+08:00

Hehe.. I am here again..

Yup. As you may have guessed. It's working hours now.
12pm to be exact. And YES I am slacking..

Not really actually I am taking a break..
Too much work and stress recently..
Hehe...

Pictures??

They are purely random.

Forgive me..
HAHA

I think my brother is either crazy or CRAZY!
Those are HIS legs for your information..

Ever expanding BOOK collection..
HEHE..

My family's car..

Another car in our office carpark..

The Giant and Elf..

HAHAHAHAHAHA.. Told you it was random!

Went out with Lynnette on Friday...
Just for dinner actually..
Haha

And yes I was in pink that day.

I am trying hard to increase the colours I have in my wardrobe..
hahahaha..

She was attempting to squeeze her head...

The jacket is FREAKING expensive...

But of course it's NICE.
And I didn't buy it..
So it makes it just NICER!

HAHAHA

````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Life's been kinda monotonous..
But I guess it's time to slow down the ever increasing pace of the world.
I won't say life's been an enjoyment.
But I don't detest it that much anymore.

Finding happiness in small little issues..
Fascinate yourself with the most ordinary things you never observed.

Simplicity does it all，right?

终于跨出第一步，
忘记你的一切的第一步
不那么在乎你的第一步
开始珍惜所有的第一步
努力向前前进的第一步
学着更爱自己的第一步

不想再站在原点，彷徨地望着前方。
想独自继续向前，微笑着回忆从前。

=SmileX=
人生哲学。

HEhe...

2007-09-22T21:45:00.000+08:00

Haha..

So long never update again..
See?
Got people say my blog wordy again..
Haha..

I lazy to upload photos ma..
Hehe..
Okok.. So now.. I shall uploads LOTS of pictures ok?

You know la~~
Such things must have "feel" then can do...
HEHE..

Intercontinental Hotel..
I didn't go there for any purpose.
The simple reason is because our car was parked below at the carpark and we had to walk thru the hotel to go into bugis junction..

Got "feel" right?

Nice chandeliers..

Brother acting stupid...

Bugis Junction..

Lunch..!!

Hehe...
Drooling already??!!
HAHAHAHA...
It's at the Wong Kok Char Chan Teng (Forgot le) at Bugis Junction...

Ok.. I shall upload the other pictures tomorrow...
I took super long to upload these can???
Tired already...

=SmileX=
Can I continue to trust you and hold on?

Questions 'bout life..

2007-09-17T14:12:00.000+08:00

What am I doing?
What do I really like and enjoy doing?
What am I going to be in future?
Why am I studying all these?
Is it revelant?
Will I like my job in future?

Have these questions ever popped up in your mind?

To me, it seems that they have all been answered.
Yet I yearn to find my truthful answers to them.
Things have seemed to be settled and decided.
I accepted them gracefully, hoping to do my part.

"Work hard, do your best"
I tell myself. Yet the hardest has yet to be overcomed.
How can I take the step?
The step that can stop my mind from straying off and staying on the right track?

I want to prove myself to be a good worker.
Yet all the temptations are overwhelming.
Absorbed in my own world, I lost my soul.

Finding back my soul and rearranging my dreams shall be my greatest goals.

=SmileX=
It's time to start thinking about the future...

Sad day.

2007-09-15T23:23:00.000+08:00

Am at my auntie's house now..
Staying over at her house alone..
Because my little cousin is very sick..
And my uncle went back to KL..
So I had to stay to help her look after her son..

I was kind of reluctant at first..
But..
Haiz..
She also very poor thing..
The son is like throwing tantrum for don't know what reason..

Studying hard to catch up my japanese lessons!!
Exams coming soon!
ARGH!!!

````````````````````````````````````````````````
GREAT. HE and SHE.
What a good combination.
I am speechless.
The long distance HE was willing to travel for HER.
The late going home HE was willing to because of HER.

Everything around me is saying "give him up".
I think I am going to have a nightmare tonight..
Of HIM AND HER..

Thinking too much about it..
Tsk tsk tsk..
How unhealthy..

=SmileX=
In front of you but you have no idea that I like you..

Sian...

2007-09-10T23:16:00.000+08:00

Those darn eyebags are back...
I don't know why...
But I'm sure they will be gone before I know it..
They shouldn't exist in the first place...

I am tired..
But I have problems sleeping..
I don't know why...

I have pictures to upload.
I will do it some other day...
No "feel"
HAHAHA

````````````````````````````````````````````````````
I thought I was taking a big step forward...
How would I know I was actually pushing myself into "no return".

我的积极和关心，只能够换回你的冷漠
Thanks ah.!
What a NICE reply.
What a NICE way to start my day for me.

说没有女朋友，但不代表你没有喜欢的人对吧。
你有喜欢的人，但那人不是我。
希望“她”也是喜欢你的吧。。。

第一次那么拼命地追，你却恨不得拼命地逃。

What's meant to be will always be..
But I am seriously running out of patience...

你的世界，我进不去，却又不想退出。

=SmileX=
多少次我告诉自己“算了”，但倔强的我始终做不到。。

Friday!

2007-09-07T23:50:00.000+08:00

Oops..
I have not been updating regularly..
Haha..
I think it's ok la~~
Still not too bad.
These few days are totally crazy.
All the mood swings are "swinging" so seriously that I think I will be driven mad by myself...
I even have the feeling that I will have 人格分裂...
HAHA.. Like WTH..

Anyway.
Because we are currently moving office, (moving to Jurong)
We spent a few hours packing everything..
It's crazy. Because I am allergic to dust..
Now my throat has been itching since then..
ARGH!!
It feels worst than me eating crabs..
So irritating...

I found a SHOCKING thing...

I AM LOSING MY ABILITY TO SING...
haiz....
I don't know what is happening to me...

`````````````````````````````````````````````
Seriously, do I look like a good entertainment?
It's not the first time I have been treated like that.
When you are bored, you think of me.
When you are not, I am nowhere to be found.
WTH..!!!
Anyway.. I shall not bury myself in unhappiness.

When I wanted to talk to someone so badly...
Someone talked.
But that someone left me stranded there, all by myself..
So suddenly that I felt lost..

How ironic.

`````````````````````````````````````````````
Only now do I realise how difficult it is to get your work recognised..
It took me very long to realise that you will never be praised for everything you do.

"People will never remember what good you have done,
But they will remember what you did wrongly,
Forever."

How true.

=SmileX=
单纯一点是好的，可以活得快乐些。

Quick Update...

2007-09-04T15:27:00.000+08:00

I know I haven't updated for a long time..
So, let me tell you what has happened in my life for the past few days..

1) I passed my Driving Basic Theory Test and got my Provisional Driving License (PDL), which means I can officially start my practical lessons.! HAHAHAHA

2) Went to Jurong East Library to study with Yi Xian and Pei Shan. Has been a LONG time since I went... What a nice feeling... Had a nice time chatting and laughing with them... hehe..

3) Went for my Grandfather's birthday celebration dinner at night... Nothing special. As usual, someone I detest was there, which was totally disturbing to me..

4) Sunday, I got a new handphone.. WAHAHA... Nokia 5700.. It's not totally good. But I think it's pretty, because I got the red one...

5) I am super broke. Don't know what happened to my finances, seems that funds are depleting faster than they are coming in...

Lynnette and Joycelyn went for interviews.. GOOD LUCK girls!!

Supposed shopping trip tomorrow..
FINALLY!!!
HAHA....

Last but not least....

I WANT TO GO KBOX!

=SmileX=
I don't want to wallow in misery anymore.

it's time.

2007-08-29T23:11:00.000+08:00

我告诉我自己，是时候长大了。

=SmileX=
不可以再有幼稚的想法。

逃避的结果

2007-08-28T23:19:00.000+08:00

有时觉得自己很活该，自讨苦吃。
明明知道逃避之后，路会更难走，我偏要逃。
怎么都开心不起来。
今天和明天，整天呆在家里，哪里都不去。
想找回以前那种在家“烂”的感觉，
可是好像好遥远，好像已经忘记了无所事事的感觉。

越想让时间充实，反而越空虚。

家里不是没有人，只是不想接触。
不想讲话，更不想踏出房门。
这是很不健康的。
整天起床、吃饭、看电视、玩电脑、读书，就过了。
回头想想，好像什么都没有做到。
好空虚。

想用这两天，让自己清醒，认清自己的人生。
可是，越想越沮丧、越想越害怕。
我们之间，不知从何时开始，对话，就只有工作。
要做什么，要注意什么都是你每天对我说的话。
对于我的生活，你慢慢变得漠不关心。
应该是从假期开始时，开始的。

一直觉得自己的起跑点和别人的不同，
一直觉得不怎么样，直到最近，才发现我的不同。

这种感觉很可怕，让我惧怕未来的一切。
好孤单。

“高处不胜寒”

以为已经走了很远，才发现一切都是幻觉。
我仍然踏不出第一步。
还是没有办法想象未来。

这一切都是我活该。
从一开始，我就没有抗拒过，
从来没有对你们说过“不”。
所以你们把我当理所当然，
从而产生了超高标准。

我好累，又有谁知道？
我好孤单，又有谁了解？
我好害怕，又有谁陪我？

我想和你说的，可是你一定又会说
“你的想法太自我为中心了，想宽一点，做人不可以那么自私的”

这就是把太多事情强加在自己身上的后果。

可是，人生只有一次，
与其选择不开心，成天把自己埋在沮丧中，
不如看开一些，不要转牛角尖，活得轻松一些吧！
我会试着这样做！

毕竟，收得云开见月明。
我期待赶快看到月亮。

感觉有点人格分裂，
跳tone有点快，没办法。
我是典型乐观派悲观主义者。

````````````````````````````````````````````
图片摘自
杨君伟写的

=SmileX=
最近很爱哭。

Let's hope it's the end of unhappiness.

2007-08-27T20:54:00.000+08:00

I don't know if you know..
There was this very big HooHa about the "I'm not a plastic bag" bag?

Ya...
My crazy sister bought it...
Haha

I almost travelled the WHOLE PIE today...
Some pictures I took on the way...

My favourites..

`````````````````````````````````````````

I got over it because I figured it out.
It's not the first time you said such things.
And I doubt it's going to be the last.

We have an undeniable relationship.
I can only accept you for who you are.

我不喜欢自己的情绪被别人控制。

I am trying hard to improve my EQ.

=SmileX=
I am starting to be afraid of my future.

100th post.

2007-08-26T21:33:00.000+08:00

This is the 100th post.

Never thought it would be a sad one.

```````````````````````````````````

Nothing I do will ever be enough to you.

No matter how much hard work I put in,

I will never pass, in your eyes.

It will never be enough.

Is it because of the sky high expectations?

Sorry, I can't meet them.

A simple statement is enough to hurt me deep down.

I can't get over it.

I am tearing.

I am hurt.

By one of my dearest kin.

That's the worst way to get hurt.

Don't you get it?

I am still a student.

Give me some time to fit in will you?

I told myself many times to face the fact.

I have a company to hold in future.

But I am not ready yet.

I still have many other things I want to do.

I just don't say it to you,

Doesn't mean I don't have dreams.

If I can help you, I will.

But give me time.

I am still young.

I haven't even graduate.

I am reporting to work during my holidays.

While my friends are enjoying their time.

It's just.... my life.

I don't hate it.

But I detest the fact that what I am doing is not recognised.

It's the most hurtful fact.

Don't force me.

I can't take it.

I am hurt.

Very.

=SmileX=

这就是我的死穴。

Update!

2007-08-25T22:36:00.001+08:00

Haha..
I haven't updated for quite a few days..
So here goes.!

My trip to Shenton way during working hours..
I felt totally like a tourist that day..
I was taking pictures like I have never been there.!

Show you something interesting...

They look normal rite??

The inside of the lift...
Find anything wrong??

Take a closer look...

HAHA...
Those are ALL the buttons in the lift...

Outside the lift....

Press the floor you want to go...

They tell you to proceed to the respective lift..

Press the wrong/invalid number...
This is what you get...

HAHA...
Cute right??
But you can't change your mind...

I love this place...

Very pretty lobby...

Underpass @ Fullerton..

Finally...
LUNCH...
At China Square basement there...
The Japanese food is WOOHOO..!!!
Nice!!
おいしいですね！

Time for some heritage feel...

Watched Hairspray..!!
Very nice and funny..!!
Go Watch!!!

Been meeting Auntie Lynnette quite often..
HAHA..
Stop cooping yourself yourself at home AH!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
``````````````````````````````````````````

Thanks for making me confused again..

=SmileX=
Barney. Like WTH.

what a day.

2007-08-22T10:11:00.000+08:00

It's only the beginning of the day.
And I am already feeling the difference.
The difference of you not being here.
The things around me seemed to feel it too.
The radio kept playing my favourite song.
It's just, unbearable.
Perhaps it's just a habit?

I can't bear to look at the date today.
Simply reminds me you are gone.
A date I have been staring at everyday,
For the past 1 month.
I feel somewhat empty.
I told myself to brace up.
To push you out of my mind
I will try, I promise.
I will try hard to minimise the effects.

You looked forward to this day.
I hope you are happy now.
Take care of yourself ya?

I wanted so much to sms you.
But I decided not to.
Something told me I should not.

I just hope that I am not forgotten.
Will you forget me?
I know I am only one of the many contacts in your phone.
I still hope you will think of me.

So, this is how it feels to be affected by a dream.

=SmileX=
I don't like being emotional too. But I can't help it.

I am SUPER tired...

2007-08-21T23:47:00.000+08:00

I think the continuous lack of sleep is taking effect..
I just can't seem to get enough sleep..
TIRED, is all I can say...
And I really am...
My eyes are really dry..
And they are hurting...

Went with Mummy to Shenton Way today.
I felt like a tourist snapping pictures here and there.
Will post them up soon.
I haven't transferred them..

I feel a sudden NEED to be fascinated..
I am feeling bored..
I want to go overseas..

Wonder when I will be able to??
````````````````````````````````````````````

I hope I will be able to get over you.
Bye Bye.

=SmileX=
Bye. Take Care. Though you will not see this.

Tired...

2007-08-20T22:04:00.000+08:00

I am really tired..
I have started my 2 months holiday.
Which means I am starting my 2 months working at the office..
I am super tired..

As per always.
There is nothing to say about work..
``````````````````````````````````````````````

I don't know.
My friend says it's crazy to wait 2 years.
But I am willing to.
If you ask.

Call me stubborn if you must.
I won't deny.

=SmileX=
I don't know why, I just don't want to give up yet.

I LOVE FIREWORKS!!!

2007-08-19T00:31:00.001+08:00

Went to see fireworks with Joycelyn, Libing, Jiayi and Li Wen today...
I just SO simply love it..
Haha..

Went for a light dinner at New York New York...

What's up with MS JOYCELYN's FACE??!!!

Haha..

Time for a NORMAL one..

Libing very kindly brought along 4 cupcakes for the 4 of us..
And she MADE SURE ALL of us finished it..
HAHA...

Can you see the efforts Li Wen is putting in??

HAHA..
And this is the end product of mine, Joycelyn's and Jia Yi's.

Went to the empty space outside Esplanade..
Waited for an HOUR for the fireworks to start...

Typical night scenery of Singapore..

I turned the world black and white.

US...

Time for the fireworks...
I didn't take many nice ones...
Because there was simply TOO much smoke around..

Saw a couple coming together today..
Haha..
Happy for them!!
Haiz...
This is the time I feel I WANT a boyfriend badly...
How nice it would be if I am watching the fireworks with someone I call my "boyfriend"
Haiz..
BUT
No matter what..
I still love fireworks just as much...!!
HAHA

I will upload the videos another day...
It's taking too long..

I reached home at 11.40.
And my parents are freaking pissed...
Like.....OOOPS..
Haha..

Then now I shall officially announce that
I HAVE A HOME CURFEW OF 11PM!!
Haha..

=SmileX=
I don't know what is in that brain of yours

HEHE...

2007-08-18T00:12:00.000+08:00

Ok..
I have a few things to say today...
Bear with me..

Went with Yi Xian to watch 不能说的。秘密..
It was nice..
Although the storyline was not strong...
But the music and effect made it nice..
Worth the money I think..

Wanted to go watch the fireworks.
I LOVE FIREWORKS...!!!
Ok..
I like lights...
Haha...
Those christmas lights??
Ya.. I LOVE THEM!!!
HAHA
But it was fated not for me to go...
So.. well...
Haha..
It's always during such times that I SO wish I have a boyfriend to accompany me to such things...
And he can send me home after that..
Because it always ends late..

I am SUPER tempted to go watch the fireworks tomorrow!!!
It's going to be NICE...
Because i LOVE it!!
Haha..

Picture with my sister...

JOYCELYN AKA JACK AKA JOY/LYNN

HAHAHA

The reason why we took this picture is because she bought a new comera...

Haha

Finally finished the ONE AND ONLY EXAM
Therefore...
I'm FREE!!!
But it comes down to a point whereby I need to go office everyday..!!
Just yesterday...
I saw the third Intern leave...
I wonder when is the fourth coming?
It's a weird feeling when you see people coming and leaving the company...

Mummy just asked me yesterday...
"Do you see coming to work in the office a sacrifice?"
I don't see it as a sacrifice.
I see it as a responsibility..
Because I know I am the best choice we have.
I will put in my best.
Really.

``````````````````````````````````````````````

大家都觉得我应该要伤心
可是，我没有。
只是情绪有点不稳定
尤其一个人的时候

我是不是因该让自己哭出来，
把不好的情绪都丢掉？

Seriously, I am still trying to figure things out.

纯纯的爱，最容易做到
可是，也最不容易得到。

=SmileX=
I just want to be happy and let things stay that way.

What a GOOD day...

2007-08-16T18:26:00.000+08:00

I realised I have been putting up too many EMO posts..
I shall TRY to avoid that now..
Let's talk about something light today....
HAHAHAHAHA....

Today is an achieving day..!
I did EVERYTHING I planned to do.
And I think I did them WELL...
Haha..

OK.
I admit, I was a little late for my Theory Practice...
Lesson was at 10.45...
I reached at.........
Erm.
Hmm.
Around.
About.
10.50?
HAHA..

The did 3 of the 4 practice paper.
And it really freaked me out when I realised I FAILED all of them.!
I BIA through the theory book.
(ok. I admit again. I didn't study.)
I took the Evaluation at 12.05.
And.
Luckily.
Fortunately.
I PASSED!
93%.. PHEW..
The passing is 90%...
HAHA..

I was SO SO SO SO SO happy.!!

I was early for my Jap class...
So I decided to take a BUS to cck..
And walk walk around..
And take a train down...
End up..
I wasn't early.
Neither was I late.
I was ON TIME.!
Hahaa...

I think I performed well for my Jap class today..
I am motivated to study it well now..
Made my FIRST friend at Jap class today..
For the past 1 year and 8 months??
Haha..

And I am enjoying my favourite DONUTS...
Yum Yum..

The only bad thing?
I haven't studied for Contemporary Language EXAM TOMORROW!!!
OOPS.!
Haha..
I will study de la~~~
I will try

Some pics I took on the car on the way home from office.

Got kampong "feel"

The nostalgic place...
It's my Secondary School...

I learnt this from Yi Xian...
She is the pro at this..

=SmileX=
Surprisingly. I am not feeling anything.

Would YOU say it NOW?

2007-08-15T23:36:00.000+08:00

You hurt yourself again.
The cause is all the same.
You said you were very careful already.
So why did you hurt yourself again?

It pains me to hear you say you are bleeding.
Yet the only thing I can do is to nag you.
And it doesn't seem important to you at all.

Is that what I mean to you?
Nothing, that is.

While I worry and feel hurt because of you,
All I mean to you is nothing more than ENTERTAINMENT.
Is that it?

If it's not,
If you feel the same way towards me,
Can you PLEASE say it?
Although you are leaving in less than a week.
6 days and 20 mins to be specific.
I will wait.

Just say it.
Even if it's a negative answer,
At least let me give you up.

Don't leave me in an ambiguous situation while you happily leave me...

=SmileX=
How I wish you would say it NOW.

好想躲起来

2007-08-14T22:52:00.000+08:00

偶尔累的时候，可不可以找个地方躲起来？
就算只是什么都没有的空间也好。
至少可以什么都不想，可以喘口气。

躲起来，是逃避，会让接下来的路更难走
可是可以让人获得短暂的释放

是我太软弱？有时还觉得我太坚强。
我喜欢自己背负很多东西，
日积月累，我也会累。

可是偏偏，我从一开始就没有得选择。
我的命运好像老早就已经定好了
很多人都问我 “那你快乐吗？”

我只能说，我说不上快乐，
我也只能在不快乐中找寻其他的，
不断地找寻成就感
可是他们连这么简单的都不给我。

我只好靠自己的自我安慰。

再坚强的人也有软弱的时候

我只希望有个能依靠的肩膀，和温暖的手。

=SmileX=
我绝不容许“失败”出现在我的生命里。

heart pain...

2007-08-13T23:54:00.000+08:00

My heart is aching.
For you.
For your carelessness.
For your negligience.
But you have no idea.

Everytime you fall.
Everytime you get injured.
I get worried.
Worried for you.
But you have no idea.

I tell you about it.
You say I am crazy.
Indeed I am, and it's your fault.
It's all because of you.

My heart is aching NOW.
Because of you.

=SmileX=
I wish you could take better care of yourself.

EMO...

2007-08-13T00:34:00.000+08:00

Pardon my EMO-ness..

你说你没有读我的部落格的习惯
可是我还是相信你是有读的
而且你也知道我说的就是你

时间一直在流逝
我们依然站在原点，来回徘徊

一切都没有改变
聊了22天，我还是没能了解你的想法
你的幼稚，你的无聊，让人搞不懂
每天重复着同样的戏码
你不累吗？

可能因为我不是你唯一的一个吧？
我只是你其中的一个玩具。

你可能不把我摆在第一，甚至不把我当一回事
可是我确实还是会不习惯没有你
我好像上了瘾
不和你说话，感觉会怪怪的

可是事实是你就要离开了。
2年的时间。
2年后，我们会怎样？
和现在一样？
不知道你会不会偶尔想到我？
我疯了。

我今天向你要求了一件事
希望你会做到。

=SmileX=
以后的事，以后再说吧。

mass upload!

2007-08-11T11:23:00.000+08:00

Ok..
I removed the music from my blog..
Due to SOMEONE's request..
Anyway I think it's been going bonkers recently.

I am here after quite a few days with LOADS of pictures!
Haha..

First...
Hui Wen and Hui Qi Birthday celebration!

Liwen... THE EXTRA!!!
Haha...
She requested for this picture...

Then there came MORE of them...

Finally the main POINT!!!
Haha..
They look scary in this picture...

A normal looking one..

Introducing...
HUI WEN.

And...
HUI QI!

HAHA...
整人-ing...
Actually only HUI WEN..
Haha..

Poor HUI WEN had to take out the two thingys with her mouth...
Haha...

She sure had a hard time taking them out!
Haha

The Birthday girls with their presents!

Last lesson with PETER YEO!!!
Haha..

My beloved editing station...
Time to say GOODBYE!!

Went to see fireworks on National Day with my brother and Joycelyn..
The place was SUPER DUPER PACKED!

Don't ask me why is there a lamp post in the picture.

Had a drink at CityLink Mall until the crowd subsided before heading home...

Went to watch 881 and have dinner at Cafe Cartel today...

Seafood Macaroni..!!!
WAHAHAHA

881 is worth watching.
The visual and emotional impacts are STRONG.
STRONG enough to make someone cry..
But the hokkien factor in it is strong.
It will help if you understand hokkien...
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````
I'm not used to not talking to you.
We didn't talk today.
Because you are not online.
Because you didn't sms me.
Ok fine.
I can't think of any other reasons other than the fact that you didn't think of me.

I'm too used to having you around.
But you are soon going to be gone.

=SmileX=
I'm used to having you around. Would you be there?

ARGH..!!

2007-08-08T22:30:00.000+08:00

Today is a very tiring day...
OK...
I have been very tired for the past 2 weeks...
That's because I have been sleeping late
And waking up early...
Haha...

Celebrated Hui Wen and Hui Qi Birthday is class today....
Haha..
Happy Birthday girls!!
I will upload the pictures soon!

Went to export the tape for my reportage video...
I finally finished the editing...
BUT
THE BLOODY TAPE IS NOT COOPERATING!!!!
The whole tape is corrupted!!!!
I feel so upset....
Haiz....
Now I have to RE-EXPORT
HAIZ.

Met sixters for lunch...
Haha..
We were ALL so tired...
It was quite boring at the beginning..
Because we were all falling asleep...
But soon...
We became very high....
AS USUAL..!!
Haha...
I love being with them lo..
Hehe..

I am so tired that I am having blurred vision and STONE-ing in front of my laptop.

=SmileX=
SLEEPY.

坚强

2007-08-08T00:15:00.000+08:00

坚强是福还是祸？

因为坚强
我尽量不在别人面前哭泣

因为坚强
我很努力地笑

因为坚强
我喜欢把心事藏在心里

因为坚强
我总爱说“我没事”

因为坚强
我常常想放声大哭

因为坚强
我一直希望有个肩膀让我靠

因为坚强
我发现我原来很脆弱。

坚强过了头
我累了

身上的包袱
越来越重
越来越大
有时让我想“为什么要死撑？”
放下，真的可以吗？

不，这不是一个选择题
我只能选择继续。

只有埋藏自己心里的不安
才能完成未来的路

这对大家都好。

Complicated feelings

2007-08-07T21:35:00.000+08:00

Ok..
Be prepared. This is a crazy entry.

I feel so happy!
I finished like 3 quarters of the editing!!
Hopefully I can finish everything tomorrow..
But I forgot I had to meet the sixters for lunch...!!
HAHAHA...
Luckily Jana reminded me...
If not..........................................................
Haha..

I feel so upset!
Mummy just reminded me of the PILES and PILES of undone work.
I feel damn stressed now.
I feel so tired with the heavy load on my shoulders.
So heavy that I could cry just because of it.
I really wanted to.
But then again.
I won't.
As long as I can still help Mummy.
I will.
Because I don't want to see her stress herself out like that.
I love her. So I will help her with all I've got.

Just heard this sentence from the 9 o'clock show:
不相信自己，就是失败
I think it's true.
I have low self esteem and self confidence.
I think I need more of it!

I just want to do my best in everything I do.
That's all.
Seems easy eh?

=SmileX=
I wish I could.

Tired...

2007-08-06T21:14:00.000+08:00

I am so tired today...
So much so that I took a nap in the afternoon..
Haha..

Went for my Jap class in the morning and went to school for editing for my reportage video...
SO tiring....

I am so upset now...
Because my Mum was blaming me for not doing a good job for the office work...
DAMN.
I hate such things to happen.
I will definitely affect my mood to work.
And sway my determination to do a good job.
I HATE IT
DAMN IT.

=SmileX=
I am damn pissed.

Sunday...

2007-08-05T19:12:00.000+08:00

Ok...
I know I sounded SUPER emo in all previous entries...
Haha...
Because things have been happening and I have been updating...
Haha...

Went to the Old Folks' Home this morning...
It's somewhere I go every month...
So nothing special..

Went to Orchard with my sister...
To send her phone for servicing
And to fulfill her cravings for Suki Sushi...
Finally had time to really talk with my sister...
Had a nice talk with her..
She finally convinced me about what has been going on...
And I have accepted it
Hehe...
Feel much more relaxed now...
Also must thank Lynnette and Joycely for all the moral support and retail therapy..
Haha...!!

This is the piano at the Old Folks' Home...
It's smaller than mine...
Haha...
I took the picture because I was BORED..

My DARLING
Haha...
He is my brother...
The reason behind his irritated face is because he was supposed to be doing his chinese compo...
Something he DETEST...
Haha..

Food therapy?

This played a big part in making me happy..
Haha..

Ok..
I have to go do my new media homework now...
Don't want to be NAGGED by the old man...

````````````````````````````````````````````````
"guys don't think as much as girls do"
"you should jus throw him out of the list"
"perhaps he juz dun wan to lose a friend"
"guys jus pick anyone last on their list and talk"
"they are jus plain bored"

Yes..
I am convinced..

=SmileX=
It's time things go back to square one.

Speechless.

2007-08-04T23:38:00.000+08:00

I cooked my Korean Ramen ytd...
Haha...
Added a piece of cheese on top...
Wanted to try how it tasted like...
Because I saw it on one of the shows before...
I think there was too much soup..
So I didn't really taste the cheese...

I said in the previous entry I went out last night...
This is what Lynnette did to her plate..

According to her...
Under that pile of rice...
Lies the piece of chicken meat she spat out..
Haha...
She was creating a funeral for it...

Went out with Ms JOYCELYN just now...
To bugis...
LAST MINUTE DECISION again..
Haha...
She is REALLY shopping queen!
Haha..

I only bought a wallet...
Because I haven't got my pay...
Today is not a good day...
````````````````````````````````````
I must admit
You are really smart
Skipping all the main points

I asked
You didn't reply
She asked
You decline

I am not angry
Really
I am just disappointed
Really

You made me speechless.
AGAIN.

Up till now
I am still waiting for you to say it.
I know I am stubborn
The girls are saying I should just throw you away
But I don't want to do it yet.

I am still waiting.

=SmileX=
Please say it before I give you up. Totally.

Time to wake up...

2007-08-04T00:18:00.001+08:00

Just reached home like 1 hour ago at 11.30pm...
Went out with Lynnette, Joycelyn and Libing to Orchard...
I felt like an animal let out from a cage...
Haha...
It was a LAST MINUTE decision to go shopping...
And I was happy Lynnette was there for me...
And Joycelyn and Libing joined us later...
A big thank you to all three of them...
Who made me laugh..
Who made me happier...
Who made the "dream" less painful...

THANK YOU

It's always nice to have friends who are true to you around...
I am hurt by him...
But I got a good friend from it...
``````````````````````````````````````````````````
I was totally upset with you
TOTALLY.
Falling in love with you is like sitting on a swing
Controlled by your words.
I totally lost it
Everything happened so fast
Like a dream
And an unrealistic one at that.

I know it's time to wake up
To return to my real world
To the world that you do not exist
To the world that I am in control
To the place where I came from.

谢谢你让我发现我也有脆弱的一面
谢谢你让我发现我有多么地不切实际
谢谢你让我发现原来我的好朋友很多
谢谢你让我发现原来你不属于我
谢谢你让我发现没有你，我也活了18年

爱上你，就像荡秋千
是时候下来了，用自己的脚走路

The only good thing you did was to make me addicted to solitaire

=SmileX=
每一场梦都有结束的时候

Starzz

I HAVE MOVED

I screwed BIG TIME

ALive?

*SIGH*

When's it coming?

I'm Back!!

Tired.

Happy?

空虚

I'm still alive. Struggling to be.

haiyo

心情不好

I'm so bloody tired la~~~~

The (Hurtful) Truth..

work~~

Driving..

原来我会的那么少

Hmm..

Taiwan Trip PART2!

Woohoo~~~

ARGH

Taiwan trip....

祝我生日快乐。

The countless 'BYE's...

Driving lesson~~~!!!

Pictures... Pictures... Pictures...

I'm here again...

Break's over.!

Hmm...

PICTURES..!!

我。。。不是我

2008..

Happy 2008.!

Merry Christmas~~!!!

Busy~~~

What a week~~~

我不是公主

Moving office is not nice...

Too many things~~~

What a weekend~~~!

How Exciting~~~

No school tomorrow!

Monday = BORING.

BORED.

It's Friday!

Why?

*sigh*

[The Game Plan]

It's Friday!

I am fine le...

心

Why??

TIRED.

Tired..!!

It's Thursday..

Monday "Blues"

i miss you..?

Somniphobia

4th day of school...

Swollen eyes.

2nd day.

School REOPEN!!!

Someone...

Bad Day.

Day out...

I need a thorough break from this..

讨厌我自己

ARGH!!!

hmm..

It's the end.

slacking??

HEhe...

Questions 'bout life..

Sad day.

Sian...

Friday!

Quick Update...

it's time.

逃避的结果

SIGH

sigh